Children are left-handed, slow or hyperactive, children with neuropsychiatric disorders and autism spectrum disorders… Despite all the obvious differences, they are united by common patterns of brain development and problems of preparing for school. To help parents, physiologist Maryana Bezrukikh wrote a book on how and what is best to do with a special preschooler.
They are considered difficult and untrainable, teachers and educators complain about their anxiety and inattention, peers often do not know how to communicate with them. And yet, the features of these children are not limitations, and everyone has a chance to grow up as an active, confident and happy person, says physiologist Maryana Mikhailovna Bezrukikh.
But in order to take advantage of this opportunity, it is necessary to build a system of effective development.
In «Your Special Child Goes to School»1 the physiologist notes that children with special needs are increasingly becoming victims of various centers that lure with promises of “neurocorrection”, the use of “neurotechniques” designed to “synchronize” the work of the right and left hemispheres, “activate the work of different brain areas” and “solve all problems at once” .
The most innocuous outcome of such a “correction” is the absence of changes. Worse, if the child and parents lose faith, they begin to consider the situation hopeless.
Many tend to force the development of their “lagging behind” child, which can also be a mistake. Studies show that intensive early education, “training” and inadequate loads not only discourage him from any desire to learn, but also hinder development.
Before the age of five, a child first of all needs friendly and calm communication. You need to play with him more, he should read, tell, explain more often, without turning conversations into lessons.
Education or play? 11 golden rules
It is advisable to start regular classes in preparation for school no earlier than at the age of 5,5–6 years. And they are not needed in order to give the child knowledge and information, explains Maryana Bezrukikh. Their goal is to teach not only to play when you want, and what you like, but also to practice.
These can be classes in preparation for writing, reading, the formation of elementary mathematical representations, but in a playful way. They are recommended to be carried out no more than once or twice a day and two or three times a week.
The physiologist tells in detail in the book how to organize these classes and what tasks to fill.
Even with a well-thought-out system of preparation, work with each child will have its own nuances. With one, you need to do more speech, with the other — motor activity, the third one should be taught elementary concentration of attention.
There are no single, standard recommendations for development and methods for preparing for school. However, the expert describes some general rules for interacting with special children.
1. Do not expect a quick result, do not rely on modern «innovative» methods of «training (development) of the brain.» The development and preparation for school of special children is a path with stops, sometimes long ones, at every step. These are stops for the accumulation of new knowledge and the development of new games, gaining experience in communication and interaction.
2. Do not insist or force the child to do something that he actively refuses. Try to interest through the game.
3. Be clear and consistent in all your requirements. Explain what you require. Whenever you say no, offer an alternative, except in health-threatening situations.
4. Offer concrete solutions to any problems the child has. Learn to cope with negative emotions, find with him your own way out of an unpleasant and difficult situation.
5. Give your child simple alternatives to choose from. (food, clothes, games, activities), don’t decide everything for him.
6. Do not do anything for the child, do with him. Do not push away, do not move away, involve in household chores and teach you to take care of yourself, fold and sort your things and toys, clean up the dishes after eating, wipe the table, etc.
Of course, it is easier for adults, faster and more calmly to do what a child does not quite succeed in doing. But he always learns, and not only when he was put to work — therefore, the experience of any activity is necessary and useful.
Joint work “on trifles”, even without a visible result, is that small daily experience that is summed up, and the resulting effect is necessarily manifested. True, not immediately.
7. Encourage, help your child learn to interact with peers, play situations of communication, repeatedly say speech formulas of acquaintance, farewell, entry into the game, requests, etc.
8. Talk to your child, don’t give jerky directions. (“sit down”, “eat”, “get up”, “get dressed”, etc.). Ask and answer all questions, tell and listen carefully, do not show impatience, even if the story is interrupted by gestures and interjections, and words are not enough.
9. Read small texts regularly. It is not important how long you read, but how much and how you discussed what you read.
10. Take your time to go to school. In children with special needs, the “maturation” of the brain and all functions occurs 1,5–2 years later than in ordinary children. Choose the education option that suits your child.
For many special children, home schooling or in a small group with a flexible schedule is preferable to attending a mainstream school, where even in a well-organized learning environment, a large set of problems is likely to appear. Therefore, it is necessary to consider different training options.
11. In working with special children, it is important not only and not so much the content of the classes, but the individual system of interaction, taking into account their desires and interests, as well as the gradual, step-by-step development of new actions, knowledge and experience.
And, most importantly, remember that every special child has not only difficulties, but also advantages that can compensate for many problems and become the basis for his future success.
It is important that the failures of preschool childhood do not form an indecisive and anxious child, who is afraid of everything and confident that nothing will work out, accustomed to a heavy sigh, grief and reproach in your eyes. Together with you, he must learn to enjoy overcoming and any new step, action, experience.
The child’s body is adaptive, and the brain is plastic, so many developmental problems can be overcome.
1 Source: Mariana Bezrukikh’s book “Your special child goes to school. We prepare it and prepare ourselves” (Peter, 2020).