How to play with children

Every time we have free time, we think about how to spend it for the benefit of the child. Psychologist, author of the project “Home Game Library” Alexandra Romanova believes that the most useful thing is just to play.

Play is a biological need of a child. It brings them joy, pleasure, a sense of happiness from life. Such an emotional attitude is important for both mental and physiological development. In addition, the game is a means of self-help. In the game, children live through difficult situations, it is easier for them to comprehend what is incomprehensible through symbolic actions with objects, playing what happened. For example, it is important for preschool children to prove themselves, to feel competent. If we, adults, feel quite wealthy, active and included in social relations, then children do not have this, they need a special activity, a special reality that can be created around them. The game is a means of mastering the world, it reflects adult reality, repeats, but does not copy it. The game creates a kind of creative model of the world, reworked in connection with the needs and capabilities of the child.

There are no children who would not like to play. But there are those who play little. Often the problem is that they just don’t know how. It is important for parents to start the process of the game, to teach the child to play. There are two ways: to watch children play and help them, or to be attentive to them and understand what they want to play. For example, a child from a year old is drawn to connect different objects with each other, put one into another, put it in piles or collect things in bowls … Give him such an opportunity. The child grows and you notice that he wants to feed and put the doll to bed. Again, go from these needs and enrich the game: pick up toys, offer different types of interaction.

Modern life, unfortunately, does not make children want to play. There are fewer and fewer of them who love and know how to do it. All games basically come down to gadgets. Perhaps we are seeing the birth of a new type of game, but have not yet been able to evaluate it. We can only say that traditional games have suffered with the advent of computer and tablet hobbies. On the other hand, computer games offer more and more opportunities for development. Instead of primitive “shooters” you can now create, invent and build cities, even entire worlds. This gives hope.

To play together

How equal are the roles of an adult and a child in the game? The game, of course, requires equality, but still we remain adults and children. Some situations require a firm hand from us, others require freedom and expansion of boundaries to certain limits. The main thing is that parents do not have to turn into a child. Adults often say that they do not know how to play, that this is not their occupation, that they will not do anything at all if they do not succeed. No need to go to extremes. You can honestly tell your child that you can’t. Or try and … enjoy. You can get involved in the game in an unusual way – let the cars roll on your arm or leg … You must admit that you can easily put together a designer or a puzzle, but you won’t play with dolls. Speaking of dolls. Rarely do adults want to play with dolls, or rather, in story games. But our participation here can be very different. Even if you just buy toys with attention and love – cribs, clothes, accessories – this is already a lot. Better yet, make your own clothes! Indirect participation is no less valuable for the child. Also, it’s important to keep the game going. First of all, without devaluing it with the words “Oh, the game is nonsense, let’s learn better.” Support is also the creation of space: a carpet for playing, a variety of toys. It is also important to allocate time for the game, when no one will pull the child, call him urgently for lunch or to study. Do not interfere – already a lot.

Play by the rules

Is it necessary to play along with the child so that he is not offended? In fact, it is better not to play games with children that are not appropriate for their age. For example, playing chess with a five-year-old child. Even if he really asks, it is worth offering another game. Start with those activities in which there is no competition. Let’s say a game with joint tasks: everyone is doing something for a common cause. Or: winning depends on luck, not skill – roll the die and win or lose. Growing up, the child will be more ready for competitions, for the fact that scoring a goal for dad is more difficult, but more interesting.

Another important point: do not confuse the game, entertainment and developmental activities for the child. There are many studios where they play with a child under some kind of sauce: educational, educational, or sports. The game is used everywhere, and this is not bad, but it is important to find a specialist who plays well, knows how to do it, and enjoys the game himself. As for entertainment (for example, with animators), they assume that someone else is active, and the children just watch, consume. But in the game, the personal activity of the child is important, and in all senses – not only in the intellectual, but also in the emotional, creative and strong-willed.

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