How to pass on happiness

When we become parents, attitudes and beliefs begin to surface that we were not aware of before. “Living for the sake of the child”, “all the best for the children”, “children are our everything” – all this seems to push our own happiness into the background.

Women are more susceptible to the influence of such restrictions: with the birth of a child, they literally dissolve in worries and worries about him. They become only mothers – to the detriment of other female roles – and slowly lose their taste for life. Children begin to get sick, often act up, sometimes behave aggressively. The husband stays late at work, hides in business or computer games.

Relatives support a woman’s desire to live for them, create occasions and situations in which she is forced to actively engage, save and care. And now the joy and satisfaction from motherhood is gone. Society and older family members continually remind a woman that she is supposed to endure, and sometimes forget about herself – for a while. But this temporary state very soon becomes habitual. “If only the child was happy,” the woman argues, forgetting about herself.

But what about the child? He adopts experience, imitating adults. By observing the behavior of the mother, she learns to live in limitations. A woman for whom caring for others is a priority looks tired, anxious, rarely sincerely rejoices and smiles, except for the sake of decency or on the advice of specialists. Children are sensitive barometers of emotional states, and they unmistakably read the fake and forced smile on their mother’s face.

Feelings of guilt fall into their piggy bank: “Mom is like that because of me”, “Dad or boss upset her, I need to help her – to be good.” By imitating the mother, the child learns to hide the true state of displeasure behind a smile.

Unhappy mother, unhappy child

In many families, with the birth of a child, a woman loses time for herself. It stops updating the wardrobe, introduces restrictions into life, maintains the “I don’t need much” attitude. Years will pass – and, perhaps, she will deny herself everything in order to pamper the children with new toys. By her example, a woman shows that motherhood is a limitation and a burden.

It also conveys the idea of ​​”postponed life.” “We’ll finish building the dacha, and then …”, “you’ll finish school, and then …” A career or study that a woman refused for the sake of a child will not bring him happiness and confidence, but will only contribute to the formation of neurosis. By their mother’s example, children learn to deprive themselves of joys, hobbies, and even rest.

Caring for others is impossible when resources are at zero. Mother and child are communicating vessels that exchange emotional states. And if the mother’s spiritual vessel is empty, then there is nothing to share. A severe, anxious condition is transmitted to the child. Only after becoming happy, a woman can begin to share it with loved ones.

Keys to happiness

How to get off the beaten path of deprivation and self-restraint and start developing the skills of a happy life right now? There are many ways, as an option – to borrow “technologies for finding happiness” from other peoples.

It is known that the first enemy of happiness is stress. To prevent it, use Finnish techniques: for example, kalsarikyanni – a quick and effective way to restore strength. All that is needed for this is correctly selected (read: as comfortable as possible) clothes, favorite drinks, pleasant music, a little activity. After resting and relaxing, you can train in yourself sisu – fortitude. For this, bathing in springs, wiping with snow, going to the bathhouse are suitable. All this invigorates and quickly leads to a resource state.

Two receptions can be rented from the Danes. First, master hygge: learn how to create comfort and coziness at home. This will help knitted things, candles, family dinners, pies and board games, light colors of the interior. Secondly, comprehend the science lucke – Happiness is in the little things. It is important to find reasons to be happy every day. There are not so few of them as it seems: delicious food, a smile and a kind word to a neighbor, work delivered on time, an interesting movie in the evening.

Japanese method vabi-sabi will help you learn to be happy in any weather, to benefit from troubles. For example, enjoy the rain and snowfall, because they make it possible to stay at home. And by allowing yourself to spend your weekend morning in idleness and talking about everything and nothing, you will master merak – the art of happiness in Serbian. Concentrate on pleasant little things and memories: the first strawberry this year, the first family bike ride.

Following the Scots, bring elements to life curie – a lifestyle that allows you to interact with the world and feel like a part of it. Stop looking for the meaning of life outside. He is inside, and our task is to learn to feel and be aware of him. Interrupt your routine work with a cup of fragrant tea or a walk, spend more time in nature, enjoy its beauty.

The Jews have a wonderful concept firgun: It means sincere joy or pride in others. Good deeds will help you learn to experience it. For example, you can take things to the baby’s house with your child, having previously discussed this event.

You may have noticed that all the ways to become happier have a lot in common. All of them teach you to enjoy the little things, love your imperfect life, find time for a good rest and for yourself, appreciate home comfort and family traditions, communication with loved ones and unity with nature. But it is from such simple things that a feeling of happiness is formed.

A feeling that you can pass on.