Psychologist Judy Kuriansky has worked with survivors of natural disasters and war zones. During the Ebola outbreak, she worked in Africa as part of a UN mission. She shares her experience of working with people who have experienced trauma with us.
After an injury, a person is haunted by a feeling of insecurity. The people around you can be intimidating. In my classes, I use a technique that helps to overcome this state.
I say, “Find a place in the room where you feel safe.” Some curl up in a chair, others crawl under a chair, others hide behind a curtain. Then I ask clients to name people they feel safe around. For some, this is a parent, for someone – a spouse or a child. And then I ask them to name something that causes anxiety. This is how we delineate the boundaries within which a trauma survivor can feel safe.
After the tsunami in Sri Lanka in 2004, I worked with affected children. I asked them to draw two pictures. On the first, depict what their anxiety looks like. Maybe it’s a monster with teeth and many arms. Or maybe an ominous forest.
Nearby, I asked them to draw a bridge, and on the other side of it, something joyful and calm. Beyond the bridge is a continuation of their story, a happy ending.
You can’t leave people feeling anxious. Even if the world seems dark and scary right now, you need to show them the light ahead.
This technique is well suited for working with children who are not yet able to express their feelings. But such an image of a happy future is needed by everyone who has suffered a trauma. You can’t leave people feeling anxious. Even if the world seems dark and scary right now, you need to show them the light ahead.
Trauma always affects both the mind and the body.. It remains enclosed in the body, in its movements, posture. Therefore, in order to heal from trauma, it is important to relieve not only psychological, but also physical stress. If the body is relaxed, the mind will also come to rest.
One of the exercises that I suggest to clients is to run for a few minutes, shout, jump, throw out energy. After that, be in silence for a while: meditate, listen to yourself. The feeling of anxiety makes the body tense, constrained. Movement allows you to release stress from the body.
After the session, I always ask those who have experienced trauma: what does the work done mean to you? Have you become stronger? Where can you apply these skills?
Analyze any positive results. What has changed life for the better? What helps you see the glass as half full instead of half empty?
How can your grief become a path to wisdom?
According to the psychological principle of post-traumatic growth, experiencing trauma can lead to new discoveries, deep inner work, and bold decisions (such as showing love more often, ending toxic relationships, or leaving a harmful job).
A person who has experienced trauma can discover opportunities in himself that he did not even suspect about, find a new meaning in life.
After an injury, it is very important to create a feeling of confidence, stamina, inner strength.. In class, I ask people, “Imagine you are a reed. Or a bush. Or a leaf on a branch. The wind blew – what is happening to you?
They can oscillate, stretch, lean towards the ground. They feel vulnerable.
Whatever happens, I want you to repeat to yourself: I am a tree. I’m still here. Don’t break me
Then I tell them, “Now imagine that you are a tree. Broad and strong, with a mighty trunk and strong roots. I want you to feel that your feet are deeply rooted in the ground. You are resilient. Nothing can move you. Now imagine that the wind is blowing and it cannot move you. Whatever happens, I want you to repeat to yourself: I am a tree. I’m still here. Don’t break me.”
There is no one proven way to deal with traumatic experiences.. For some, it becomes easier to express their feelings, others prefer to hide them, keep themselves busy, removing thoughts about what happened from their heads. There is something for everyone.
If it makes you feel better when you share your experiences, do it. If it is easier for you to be silent, be silent; do not force yourself and your feelings. The more talkative partner should look for someone to share with, the more silent partner should listen a little more.
About the author: Judy Kuriansky is a clinical psychologist, specialist in interpersonal relationships, and a member of the International Association of Applied Psychology and the United Nations World Council for Psychotherapy.