What is the secret to successful online dating? It is important to show yourself on the good side – and all means are used, from Photoshop to bearded jokes. What exactly should not be done, experts in online dating from the site eDarling found out.
It seems to some that it is better to create intrigue and hide all information about yourself in order to surround yourself with an attractive halo of mystery. Others, on the contrary, choose to be open and fill the page with party photos, sexy selfies and juicy personal details, forgetting to check spelling. And still others rely on bold flirting – and use “heavy artillery”: bragging, lies, exaggerated sexuality, unambiguous hints and formulaic phrases gleaned from neighboring sites. Who will be more lucky? Online dating site eDarling conducted a survey of users to find out what is really important in online dating and what will only turn off a potential partner.
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Appearance doesn’t matter?
It seems that a beautiful photograph is the key to success. And not only: after all, how else can you be sure that we are not being played? However, survey data showed that 60% of Internet users are ready to start chatting with a person whose profile does not have a photo. As for choosing the “best photo” for a profile, it was found that people who are in the mood for a serious relationship are scared off by pictures from parties, overly sexy photos, portraits with sunglasses, inept collages.
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Wrinkles visible in the picture, signs of excess weight … Just the thought of a possible reaction makes many people fire up Photoshop and start “improving” their own appearance on their own. But, as it turned out, it’s not this that really repels, but the obsessive emphasis on one’s own sexuality, boasting, or even … an abundance of grammatical errors. Hiding information also turned out to be a repulsive factor. Oddly enough, users who are ready to put up with the “invisibility” of the interlocutor negatively perceive the lack of real information about their counterpart.
What scares off dating site users?
The content of the questionnaires:
- Excessive narcissism – 54%;
- Illiteracy – 52%;
- Insufficient amount of information – 46%;
- Negative attitude – 45%;
- Template phrases – 44%.
In photos:
- Photos from parties – 56%;
- Too candid shots – 55%;
- Portraits with dark glasses – 50%;
- Too frank processing in Photoshop – 42%.
“From childhood, we are taught to “fit” into society, we adjust ourselves to the models and norms of behavior approved by society. As a result, it becomes difficult for us to allow ourselves to simply be ourselves and be different from others. Therefore, on the Internet, there is a great temptation to use formulaic phrases so as not to differ from most users, and choose photos “like everyone else”, for example, very sexy or overly retouched pictures. I would advise you not to be shy to include your photo in your profile. Our brain is designed in such a way that when there is not enough information, it seeks to fill in the gaps. Even without a photo, your profile can attract a lot of attention, however, not knowing how a new acquaintance really looks, the brain turns on fantasy and comes up with an image on its own. In a face-to-face meeting, it is almost guaranteed that the fictional image does not match reality, which can ruin any date – even if in fact you look great. Therefore, do not be afraid to post a photo, even if it seems to you not beautiful enough compared to the pictures of other users. Remember that the point of profiles on dating sites is to show your personality and find a person who will appreciate you.” – Sam Owen, eDarling Consultant Psychologist
* More information about the results of the study and user preferences when meeting online: https://www.edarling.ru/sovetchik/znakomstvo/kak-zapolnit-ankety-na-saite-znakomstv
eDarling is a dating site for serious relationships that provides its services in 15 languages for users from 26 countries of the world. The total number of users at the moment is more than 3,5 million. eDarling cooperates with universities in Germany, the Netherlands and the USA. The results of joint research were published in the scientific journals Psychological Science and Social Psychological and Personality Science.