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Learning is a process that consists of many components, and it is not always necessary to focus on one thing. For example, it can help a child to learn that he has many friends at school, and maybe his educational motivation itself is not at a very high level, but for the sake of children, for the sake of company, he goes to school with pleasure.
Or, for example, a child knows how to do something so wonderful, for which he is appreciated at school, and he is pleased with this respect. Therefore, by strengthening the sides, various manifestations of the child, we help him, and it is not necessary for parents to focus only on the lessons. Sometimes you can increase the desire to learn by inviting school friends over more often, creating a good atmosphere in the classroom.
What to do if the child studies well, but does not want to do homework, and parents have to force him?
Independence is made up of so many different factors, and there are many different aspects to this topic, so I will only talk about a few. The main things that we highlight here are: «can — can not» and «wants — does not want.» He can be able, but not want, or really want, but not be able, so it is important for us that both things be. As a rule, the more a child knows, the more he wants. That is, when a child masters some kind of activity well, his approach changes, his look becomes a master’s. Children, for whom their parents do more, atrophy not only the desire to somehow move, but also the desire to somehow take care of others. A child who already feels his strength is more generous and caring towards other people, because he has been brought to such a level of mastery that he feels strong. Strong people tend to be more benevolent and more caring, it’s easy for them. If a mother regularly calls a teenage girl to the kitchen with her, and at first the girl looks, then she begins to do some simple operations, then she does everything herself, then after about half a year it is no longer a problem for her to cook something .
But how to attract her to the kitchen?
A benevolent atmosphere, when there is no criticism, when there is a cheerful, interesting conversation, not necessarily about porridge, but about something. And the more people do something together with each other, the better their relationship. Therefore, at first there may be resistance, but if we do not focus on the fact that the child needs to be forced, we need to drive it into him, but simply attract and give simple operations at first, and chat about something interesting, this both strengthens the relationship and makes the child more independent.
The reason that the child does not want to do homework on his own may be that from the very beginning, his parents raised him without paying attention to the development of independence, that is, they did a lot for him. If the child is still in the elementary grades and studies well, you can try to give him the opportunity to get a few deuces for unfinished lessons, tell him: “Well, you don’t want us to make you do your homework, but you like to get fives, like that you are respected that you are smart, so come on, work in order to remain the same respected person. And for a child, if he really studies well, one or two deuces can have a very good sobering effect. Another thing is if a child learns anyhow, then for him a deuce will not be news and is unlikely to change anything.
In general, of course, all this is very individual. Some child theoretically, maybe, would have sat down and worked out, but he is slow, he is used to doing everything with a push, such a child just needs to be accelerated. Such a child could and would have done everything without parents, but he held out until 9 pm, and then it’s already time to sleep, and therefore parents have to force him, because otherwise it will all drag on until nightfall. Such a child needs to be moved, he needs to be given more physical activity and an example of how to do things quickly, even regardless of learning. Our children, in principle, have little opportunity to run, jump, frolic, and they fall into such a half-asleep state. In the morning, some people are generally taken to school, then they are taken away, everything is in a relaxed mode, they stuffed food somehow, then they force them to do something else. Life is not enough. It’s great if parents can take a walk with this child after school, you can not run yourself, but for the child to run, and you measure something on the timer, for example, how long will it take him to run to the tree? It is interesting for children to monitor themselves, their progress on a timer. You can throw some bumps — whoever is next, you can think of anything. More fun games.