Contents
How to manage frustration, that effect that kills illusions
Psychology
This emotion is usually common in people who have difficulty controlling expectations.
La frustration it is an uncomfortable feeling that nobody likes to experience. It is not anger, or uneasiness: it is a rare emotion that slows us down, makes us feel bad and many times it is difficult for us to even recognize. “Frustration refers to the feeling of disappointment or disappointment that people have when they do not reach a goal or do not achieve something that we yearn for and desire,” Laura Palomares, director of Avance Psicólogos, defines more accurately.
Frustration is an emotion that is often accompanied by others. For example, anger and rage appear normally. “There are people who throw this anger out, and can get to unload it with others, others on the contrary throw it in, blaming themselves and whipping themselves”,
explains the professional, who adds that none of these ways helps to manage it: what it is about is learn to solve it from acceptance.
The question may arise as to whether it can be intrinsic in us to become more or less frustrated. Laura Palomares comments that individual differences and personality traits influence how we experience and cope with frustration, but above all the learning throughout our childhood in the family environment is decisive. “The positive is that we can always learn to develop a greater tolerance for frustration, and that this will also help us to be happier,” says the professional.
What makes us feel frustrated
Likewise, it must be understood that there are no areas that predispose us more to feel frustration or not, since it depends on each person. What the frustration depends on is not a specific scenario, but not from our way of managing expectations when they are not met. “It will also depend on whether a person focuses more attention on professional achievements because they have always supported their self-esteem there or gives too much importance to the couple relationship because they have a tendency to emotional dependence,” exemplifies Laura Palomares, who points out that experiences , attachment modes and early learning are behind the reaction of each person in the different areas of their lives when it comes to managing frustration.
On a more practical level, the psychologist says that if we feel very frustrated, the main thing is to relativize and de-dramatize by adjusting the thought, always in a very realistic way and without idealizations. “We have to address the question ‘What is the worst that can happen?’ This will help us to achieve relativization and predisposes us to look for alternatives to solve or develop a plan B ”, he assures.
Frustration as a habit
Also, if we feel that frustration is a common emotion in us (Not only do we feel anger and rage at anything, but it is also maintained over time), Laura Palomares warns that we assess whether the beliefs we have are very demanding. “A perfectionist and demanding character can lead to this difficulty in managing frustration, which directly affects self-esteem and can generate a low mood as well as a certain degree of alertness and anxiety.” Thus, the professional concludes, recalling the importance of adjusting expectations, and developing alternatives seeking solutions, understanding that it is necessary to accept that not everything comes out the first time and that precisely this strengthens learning.