Everyone has had situations when neither persuasion nor parental requirements act on children. And this applies not only to the “unwanted” children, but even the most educated, obedient and conscientious children. Therefore, moms and dads, grandmothers and grandfathers will benefit from a few tips that will help maintain mental balance at times when patience is not enough.
Each child has a different personality, and moms have to be creative in trying to convince them to do as their parents tell them to. Often children answer “no” to everything, on purpose they do everything the other way around. Given this childish feature, we bring to your attention a few tricks that will help you achieve listening without tears and scandals.
1. Forget the expression “Don’t do this!”
Instead of constant tugging and inhibitions, offer your child another option. For example, instead of “Don’t talk with your mouth full!” – “Tell me when you chew. Then I can understand what you want to tell me. “
Or: “Don’t eat it dry!” – “Help me set the table and we will have tea and cookies together!”
Sometimes you can challenge your child. For example, if he fusses for a long time and can not get dressed, tell him: “I bet I will get dressed faster than you.”
2. Change the instructions “Enough!”, “Stop!” in “Continue”.
This trick will help if you can’t think of another activity for your child (see point 1). In this case, make the child’s occupation harmless.
Use this technique if an alternative to the child’s actions does not occur to you.
For example: instead of “Stop painting on the walls!” – “Here’s a piece of paper, draw here.”
3. Do not impose, but give a choice.
Very often, when parents tell a child that it is time to have lunch or go to bed, the children begin to protest and disobey. If you have the same situation, then do not tell the child what to do, offer him a choice.
For example, instead of “Time for lunch. Sit down at the table!” – “Will you sit next to me or with dad today?”
Instead of “Time to go to bed” – “What fairy tale do you read before going to bed – about Thumbelina or three little pigs”?
By offering a choice, you give him a sense of belonging. The child understands that his wishes and needs are respected and taken into account.
4. Motivate.
If the child understands what this action will give him, he will perform it with great interest.
For example, instead of “Take the toys away!” “Take the toys off the floor and we can dance together.”
Instead of “Do your homework!” – “If you get through your lessons quickly, you can go cycling with your friends” (go to eat ice cream / go to the cinema together, etc.).
5. Use body and eye contact.
In situations where the child ignores you, approach him so that your faces are on the same level, sit down or pick him up. Thus, you will demonstrate to the child your willingness to enter his world. Make eye contact and explain what he needs to do and why.
If the child can not tear himself away from something, see what he is doing and help him finish what he started (be it laying dolls or parking a car park).
If you, being opposite each other with your child, feel a confrontation situation, move and take a lateral position, breaking eye contact. The point is that the side-by-side position is interpreted as an equal relationship. But face to face is either a close connection or a confrontation.
And one more thing.
Be sure to praise your children. But not just “well done”. Notice how your child’s actions lead to good results. Has the child put away his toys? Say, “What a clean room!” (result). “You folded all your toys!” (action). “Well done!”