How to make the right choice

Often we have to make a choice. Sometimes the choice is small — whether to go to the cinema today or do business, the choice is more significant — whether to change jobs or stay in the same place, sometimes we face global questions: to connect life with a person, to determine the business of life.

How to make an informed decision? How do you make a choice that you won’t regret later?

It is often advised to look at the situation from the outside, but rarely tell from which side. Meanwhile, the situation has many sides, at least four↑. We can make a decision from the position of our interests and our greatest gain — this is one side↑. If we look from the position of our partner and take into account his interests — the second side↑. If we see objective reality and objective consequences, this is a third party↑. And if we are interested in long-term results, the long-term perspective of our actions is the fourth side↑.

Let’s say your friend invited you to the cinema, and you have an unfinished work report that needs to be handed over to management. What are the sides of this situation? Personally, you may be more tempted to go to the movies. A friend wants to find a cheerful companion, the boss is interested in receiving data from you — these are the interests of your partners. In reality, if you do not submit a report to management, you will slow down your project for two or three days, if you refuse a friend, then, with a high probability, he will find someone else to go to the movie with. From the point of view of the future, the project brings you money, and in the future, it may develop into a global direction and will “feed” you for a long time to come.

This is a three-dimensional view of the situation, a view from different positions of perception.

Which side is better to look at? The best choice would be a configurator: add up all the visions and only then make a decision. If you see the situation as a whole: both your desires and interests, and the interests of your partners, and the real situation and the prospects for your decisions — only then will you be able to make a decision that you will not regret later.

Total: decision algorithm

When you are in difficulty and do not know which decision to prefer, how to react to this or that situation, what decision to make, put a blank A4 sheet in front of you and divide it into 4 columns.

In the first column, write all your interests. Your desires, what do you want to get out of this situation.

In the situation with the boss and the report, we will write down: I want to go to the cinema.

In the second column, write down the interests of your closest partners, what do they want from you? Think deeper than just «want to get the report on time» or «I want to go to the movies.» What do they really want?

It is important for the boss to get the data in order to draw up a plan for the development of the company for the next six months. A friend is bored of going alone and is looking for someone to go with him.

In the third column, write down reality: what are the real consequences of your actions.

A friend is highly likely to invite another person and go to the movies with him, you will have the opportunity to see him next week. The boss won’t worry at all, but your delay in reporting will likely delay the start of your project by two to three days. Is it critical or not?

And in the fourth, write down how this decision will affect your long-term prospects: how it will work for your goals for the month, year, life.

And then a lot of things become obvious, and the most difficult decision becomes more understandable.

Technique of selection according to the female model

It can be difficult for women to make decisions using only their mind and will. Women are more emotional, pay more attention to their feelings, and the technique of choosing a female model has its own characteristics. The essence of the female model selection technique is that you take turns living through each of the possible options and carefully examine your emotional reactions and your sensations in the body. It is perfectly normal that this method is perfect for many men: no one has canceled individual characteristics and habits. This technique is especially suitable in cases where the question of choice has been standing for a long time, the possible options have long been considered, but it is still difficult to make a decision. See →