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End relationships or not? There are no simple recipes here: everything happens in life.
Sometimes divorce is inevitable. If the spouse drank, drinks and will drink, then, apparently, this is no longer the person you married.
Sometimes divorce is a perfectly reasonable decision. If it turned out that the girl married you only to run away from the family, but she does not love you and does not plan to build a relationship, then the wedding was just a mistake. And mistakes need to be corrected.
Also, if one of the partners did not understand why he needed a family, and the other half suddenly met a wonderful person with whom you can and mutually want to build a long relationship, then you don’t need to torment each other: set free the one who strives for this, and give family happiness to someone who deserves it.
However, in a large number of cases, couples who come to a psychologist with the thought of divorce are quite capable of improving their relationship. At a minimum, you should not rush to get a divorce: if you have not managed to build a relationship here, it is not at all obvious that you will build them in a new relationship. And counting on happiness in life without a partner, living in free solitude is a moot point.
The issue of ending close relationships must be considered from all sides, that is, from all positions of perception: take into account your own interests, the interests of a partner, the interests of other persons included in our relationship, think about the prospects and, if possible, resolve all these issues with love, with angel positions. Begin?
From the point of view of your interests, it is advisable to end close relationships when there are no prospects in them. When there are no prospects in a relationship (especially when it is obvious that there are definitely none), and it is possible and better to live alone (alone) without a partner than together, then the relationship must be terminated. However, whether or not you have prospects is not an easy question. Sometimes they are there, but you just don’t see them. How to understand this better? see perspectives to be seen
Also, it is advisable to terminate an existing relationship when other interesting prospects are possible. If there is someone in mind, especially if there are quite worthy proposals, this is definitely worth thinking about. If there is a difference in views, the relationship is complicated, but living together is still better (at least more convenient) than separately, it is better to live together.
To think correctly, to think about the prospects, look at yourself from your future.
Imagine yourself in 5-10 years, imagine yourself, your future and answer the following questions: what kind of person would you like to become? What will you do? Where will you live? Where to work? How will you look? Now think, do you see your partner in that future? Is there a place for him? Could there be someone in his place?
And how to weigh all this, so as not to be mistaken? The question is correct: when the relationship is broken, there are a lot of emotions in the soul, and this does not greatly contribute to the good work of the head. To put your thoughts in order, you have the following tips: Do not make a decision on a hot head. Weigh the pros and cons in writing. Consider your fears. Consult smart people. See details →
Everything is more difficult if you have a child, if your relationship is tied to your parents, if you are connected by business or property issues. Or, God forbid, you have sick attachments — in this case it is especially difficult to part, even when the mind speaks of the complete hopelessness of the relationship. What to do here? Just walk away and stop all communication. No calls from you, no answers to him, no answers to calls, everything is as if you were dead. You are not. See How to break up with someone who has a sick attachment.
Counseling examples
- Alexei is angry with Valya