Contents
School is a new stage in a child’s life, the first step into adulthood. However, adjusting to an unfamiliar environment can be difficult. Parents can facilitate social and psychological adaptation. How to help a child make friends and establish trusting relationships with teachers, educational psychologists explain.
Maintain sustainable positive self-esteem
Do not set an example for other children, you can only compare a child with his own achievements. Celebrate all successes. But when it is necessary to praise or make a remark, it is necessary to evaluate not the child himself, but to comment on the act.
Praise must be specific. For example, if you liked the drawing of your son, do not limit yourself to the phrase: “You are done!” In this case, it is important to note the efforts, perseverance or choice of colors. If you are dissatisfied with the act, do not say: “You are bad!” Voice what exactly you did not like, together try to understand the reasons for what happened and find ways out of this situation. Then the child will be able to better understand the problem, evaluate their contribution to it and think about what can be changed in the future.
Relationship with the teacher is an important element of successful adaptation
A teacher for elementary school students is an indisputable authority. If you disagree with the teacher about something, refrain from speaking negatively in front of your child. Take the teacher’s remarks calmly, pay attention to what the child says about them. Help him to recognize his feelings about this: “It looks like you were upset (offended, angry)”, and express them. Explain that the teacher made the remark not to offend, but to help them become better. You can ask the question: “What would you do if you were a teacher?” and discuss the answer.
Don’t ask too many questions about school
Parents often complain that the child does not talk about himself. When asked what happened during the day, he replies: “I don’t remember.”
It is important to give the child some time to rest, then he will be more willing to share the news.
The fact is that adults often ask children too many questions. If you observe yourself, you will most likely find that you are doing it too. Each question should involve the most detailed answer, and not turn into an interrogation.
For example: “What did you remember most of all today?”, “What seemed the most interesting (boring) during the day?”, “What would you tell your friends?”.
And even in this case, be prepared for the fact that children may not immediately satisfy your curiosity. In response, try to calmly say: “I see that now you do not want to communicate about school, but I will be ready (a) to listen to you when you yourself want it.” It is important to give the child some time to rest, then he will be more willing to share the news.
Create conditions for communication with peers
It is easier to establish contact with those with whom there are common interests. An environment in which it will be easier for a child to find new friends can be various circles and sections. Often they are held both in the school itself and outside it.
Invite your child’s friends and classmates to visit. You can specially organize a holiday or arrange a birthday party for your son or daughter. Having fun and having a positive interaction experience will significantly strengthen the friendship.
But it is not necessary to throw grand events and holidays so that children can just play together after school. If they cannot occupy themselves, then you can become the initiator of any children’s yard game. You will be required to gather the children in a circle, explain the rules and, after contact between the participants is established, leave. Then the kids can do it on their own. Indeed, often they do not play together not because of shyness, but because they do not know suitable games. Your task is to fill this gap.
Allow your child to have a variety of experiences with other children and do not choose friends for him. Encourage independence in communication. Praise him for his courage, goodwill, initiative, generosity, desire to help.
What to do if the child is shy?
If your child is embarrassed to be the first to get acquainted or simply does not know how to do it, use the game as an assistant.
Your main task is to teach children to see the good in the most difficult and unpleasant situation.
For example, you can organize a game «Introduction». After choosing several characters, simulate the situation and give the child the experience of meeting new people. Then give him the opportunity to become the initiator of communication.
If your child is anxious or shy, invite them to imagine themselves as their favorite hero, the bravest classmate, or the child with the most friends in the class. Ask the young actor to portray a characteristic pose, gestures, facial expressions, tone of the selected prototype. Discuss whether he liked feeling confident, active, courageous. Ask them to remember their feelings.
Play scenes of acquaintance, answering at the blackboard, playing at recess, performing at a concert, consolidating the experience gained. Having acted out the new behavior in a safe situation, surrounded by loving adults, it will be easier for the child to use this experience outside the family.
Your main task is to teach children to see the good in the most difficult and unpleasant situation, because the world is neither black nor white, it consists of halftones.