How to make a joint decision

There are decisions that we make together, whether it’s about moving, taking a vacation together, or getting out of the current crisis. Psychologist, coach, leadership expert Janey Howl talks about how to take into account the opinions of all stakeholders in a joint decision.

1. Think it through on your own first. Let everyone clarify the tasks for themselves, outline all possible options, try to imagine the consequences. Rely both on the arguments of the mind and on your inner feelings and intuition. Then share your thoughts. Remember that this is not about competition – you win together as a team. You need to combine your talents and resources to come up with a solution that is optimal for all parties.

2. Agree on your goals – whether it will be the career success of one or both of the partners, moving to a new apartment or the opportunity to live for your own pleasure until you are burdened with more serious obligations. Talk, share your hopes, dreams and fears, clarifying goals, outlining concrete actions.

3. Make a decision in several stages. Work consistently on each to minimize conflict and reach a compromise. At each stage, you can apply five effective negotiation techniques: brainstorming, researching information, exploring your own emotional response, recognizing negative consequences, clarifying positive ones.

4. Respect each other. Whatever choice you contemplate, remember that your main choice is to be together. Promise that you will make a common decision and take responsibility for its consequences together. The accusations are unacceptable: not now, not later.

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