How to make a husband the head of the family?

In fact, the head of the family does not have to be a man. We are all different. And in some pair, a man does not like to make decisions, does not like to be in charge, while it is easy for a woman. Who then will be the head of this family? — She is. And everyone will be happy.

However, such situations are rather the exception, and in most families it is better for the husband to be the head of the family. Why? There are several reasons, namely: Mood, Status, Hard work.

. Women often tend to act impulsively, under the influence of mood, and the head of the family does not have the right to do so. The head of the family is the core of the family, the guarantor of its order and stability, he himself must be guided by reason and follow the rules, and not emotions and moods. It is usually easier for men to do this.

. Being the head of the family is status, and if a woman gives this worthy role to a man, she gives this golden crown, men are ready to work for this status role. If a man feels like the head of the family, he begins to perceive the family as his project, he begins to invest in the family. A man needs power. If he has no power in the family, he says to himself: “This is not my territory” and stops doing anything in the family. Or does something formally, under duress.

. Being the head of a family is work, hard work. If a woman can push this work onto a man, then she can breathe easier, and a man likes to take responsibility, and usually copes better with this work.

So let the men work as the head of the family. Men work — useful!

At the same time, the man does not always become the head of the family. Not all families believe that they basically need a head and rely on complete equality, in some families this role is closer in character to a wife, a woman — it happens. And most often the fact is that most men are objectively not ready for the role of head. Features of infantilism, unwillingness to take responsibility, fear of responsibility and simply the lack of the ability to be a leader — anything can happen.

A strong man will put himself as the head of the family, and the woman will only be proud of him. However, for many men, being the head of the family is not an easy task, and you need to help him master the role and work of the head of the family, push him to this role, support him in this role. With many men, this must first be discussed, offered them this role and agreed on it. The Family Contract Questionnaire will always help here. If a man is not quite ready for the role of the head of the family, it will be a mistake for a woman to make claims against him and, with a sigh, solve his questions for him.

It is better to carry out your female line not by protest, but by managing the husband’s vision: you need to talk with your husband, prompt, offer … The bad habits of a woman are to speak out in a monologue (that is, to speak to herself), the tendency to object, especially over trifles, the lack of the habit of obeying (“ Who is he to command me! I myself will decide when I go to sleep!). The wonderful habits of a woman are to ask: “What do you think?”, rejoice at the successful decisions of her husband, praise him and thank him.

Advertise your husband’s decisions to your parents or brag to your friends: “But I have a husband, the girls are a real man! While I was cowardly and could not make up my mind, he resolved all the issues for us, we didn’t even have time to gasp! Head of the family, joy! When and if her husband hears this, he will indeed soon become a strong man in this family that every woman wants to see and feel.

It is very important and correct to emphasize to children that the word of the pope is the law. And not just a law, but one that even you obey.

Do not meddle with advice in his men’s affairs. You can tell a man something, the form is important here, it is important how to do it. For example, it will be normal if the wife says to him with downcast eyes (or, on the contrary, cheerfully): “Let me have my female opinion, maybe stupid.” He will be quite puffed up on this, fluff his feathers, say, “Come on, woman, tell me!” Here you can say whatever you think, the main thing is good to complete: “It seems to me so … but you still decide better than me, you yourself understand this better.” If she emphasizes that this is only her not quite qualified opinion, and he, of course, is terribly smart and will decide everything himself correctly, the man will not dismiss and listen. It is not obvious that he will do as he was told, this is normal. Yes, it can be a shame when a man immediately dismissed it, and after a while did exactly what his wife suggested: anyway, it’s better to admire his wisdom than to reproach with displeasure: “Why didn’t you immediately listen to me?” For such a phrase, the wife will receive not an obedient husband, but a specific scandal. Because it was a reproach, and reproaches in a good family are forbidden. Fully.

Once again: there can be no reproach against the husband.

If women are attentive and seriously care about relationships in the family, they record their conversations with their husband on a dictaphone. And then they listen in — were there reproaches and accusations there?

This does not mean that the husband is sinless, not at all. If a question arises, you sit down next to him without reproach and say: “Darling, I have a question for you to discuss.” This is not a reproach, this is a question, this is a proposal that you consider it necessary to discuss. The style of the discussion can be different: the discussion can be soft and warm, the discussion can be extremely tough, ultimatum — any. But these are not reproaches that are thrown, these are questions that are put up for discussion. And now the man understands: this will not resolve, the question has been raised, and no other topics will be discussed, because the issue needs to be resolved.