How to make a good impression?

There are many situations in life when we want to be sure that we have made the most winning impression on a new interlocutor. How, without losing yourself, to form a positive image in the eyes of our counterpart?

stay yourself

Don’t try to pretend to be someone you are not. This applies not only to false information that distorts the real state of things, but also to attempts to seem lighter and more cheerful – such deliberateness, as a rule, is read by the interlocutor as insincerity.

“Just because joking isn’t your forte doesn’t mean you’ll make a worse impression,” says psychotherapist Karlin Flora. – Do not betray your nature – your introverted qualities compensate for what you think you may be lacking. This is attentiveness to the interlocutor, the ability to listen and understand him.

Just try to follow the speech – nervousness sometimes makes us speak faster, which immediately betrays excitement and uncertainty, leaving not the best impression.

“However, the advice to ‘be yourself’ is not always to be taken literally,” adds Karlin Flora. – So, for example, you should never show your cloudy mood. After all, it spreads like an infection – your interlocutor, in turn, will feel uncomfortable.

Pay attention to yourself

Concentrate on yourself and your feelings shortly before you have your first meeting with a new person. It can be any method that is closest to you that helps you meet your inner self and feel the balance: a short meditation, prayer, or just remembering the moment when you felt especially happy or very calm.

“Such visual images that we conjure up in our imagination set us on a wave of openness and trust in the world, give us self-confidence. People, as a rule, feel this sense of inner balance in the interlocutor and involuntarily begin to feel sympathy for him as a harmonious person, ”says Thomas Plate, professor of psychology and psychiatry at Santa Clara University.

Body Language

People do not need to read psychological advice in order to recognize the state of the interlocutor in gestures and facial expressions – they often feel it subconsciously.

Much more trust will be received by a person who, when talking, looks into his eyes and does not constantly look away. This immediately becomes an unspoken manifestation of interest and trust in the partner. At the same time, you communicate that you would like to keep your distance if you take certain postures.

“You have to pay close attention to the position of the arms and hands,” says Thomas Plate. – Arms crossed on your chest immediately betray your unwillingness to approach. This is the worst hand position at the first meeting. One hand is on the chest, while the palm is clasping the other hand – the so-called incomplete barrier – a less demonstrative pose, which, however, also speaks of a desire to isolate oneself from the interlocutor and an inability to trust him.

It is also worth trying to get rid of the habit of clenching your hands. One of the gestures expressing the openness of a partner is just open hands. After all, when a child is deceiving or hiding something, he puts his hands behind his back. An adult in such a situation usually hides his hands in his pockets or interlaces his fingers.

It’s also important to keep your distance. You should not sit too far from the interlocutor if you are sitting at a common table. The very distance between the communicants can show how much they want to contact each other.

Getting close to you indicates that the person wants to be emotionally closer. However, one should take into account the presence of an “intimate zone” in people, the invasion of which can cause discomfort. Therefore, you should not be too close to the interlocutor’s face, and if you did not hear something due to loud music or extraneous sounds, lean in such a way as to avoid eye contact.

It is best if your gaze is directed over the shoulder of the interlocutor.

Meet on clothes

There is a deep psychological meaning in the well-known proverb, according to which we are still met by clothes – that is, by the external and expressive manifestation of our “I” – there is a deep psychological meaning. Research confirms this folk wisdom.

It is worthwhile to carefully consider your appearance and in the case when you do not know your counterpart very well, at the first meeting, both professional and romantic, observe a certain golden mean. And if you are usually a fan of experimenting with the image, then for this case it is better to stop at the most concise and natural image.

Don’t be a narcissist

If before meeting with a person it is important to take at least five minutes to turn to your inner “I”, then during the meeting, try to focus on the interlocutor and his interests. And if he tells you something enthusiastically and you, in response, also want to immediately share a story with him on this topic, do not rush.

Yes, we sometimes passionately want to talk about ourselves. It seems to us that this will give the relationship intimacy, but it is not. This can be perceived as devaluing the other person’s story.

“We should always pay attention to what a person is feeling at the moment,” says Karlin Flora. “And if he’s in the mood to tell something, then the best thing you can do is not interrupt him with your story, support the story and don’t turn the topic on yourself.”

Freeze

Despite the fact that the first impression is, of course, very strong, do not be afraid to correct the situation if you make a mistake.

For example, you came to a party in a state of tension because of what happened on the road (you were upset by an unexpected call, you damaged your car) and because of this you almost did not pay attention to the people to whom you were introduced. Having calmed down a little, you saw a person who is attractive to you, but you do not dare to approach him again.

“Do not be afraid to break the ice, most importantly, to show that you are aware of everything and regret such an unsuccessful start,” says Karlin Flora. – It is best to honestly explain (if possible with ease and humor, without going into details unnecessary for the interlocutor) what happened to you. And then move the conversation to another topic.

“How you break up is just as, and often more, important,” says Thomas Plate. – Our impression of a person is formed not only from the first signals that we read when we meet, but also from those that we receive when we say goodbye. It is they who fix or modify the image created by the imagination.