Nine-year-old Samantha ran off the school porch, climbed into the back of her mother’s car, and wept bitterly.
— Nobody loves me! the girl cried. Everyone thinks I’m stupid!
«It’s not,» said Annie, Samantha’s mom. “I’m sure a lot of people like you.
— No, no one likes me in the class! Samantha sobbed. Not a single soul!
Why do you say that, baby? With that, Annie leaned over to her daughter and squeezed her hand.
“Because the whole class is invited to visit Mary Ann tomorrow, and I was not invited!” Everyone goes but me! It was a big secret, but Dominic let me know. He said that I wasn’t invited because I’m boring and no one likes me.
“Well, it’s very nasty of Dominic to say such things,” Annie said softly, feeling her daughter’s feelings, a mixture of resentment and anger, convey to her. — Children who say nasty things to others are very wrong, and you should not pay attention to them.
But he’s right! shouted Samantha, turning her anger on her mother. — Nobody loves me. Nobody at all.
«Baby, but you know being popular isn’t that important anyway.» Annie started the car as her daughter stopped crying. — There are many people in the world who are unpopular with others, and they are quite happy, and they live well. Popularity, I’ll tell you honestly, is given too much importance, and completely in vain.
Annie tried her best to cheer up and comfort her deeply upset daughter, but in fact her advice was wrong, and Samantha knew it for sure.
Many parents, when their children complain about social rejection, react the same way Annie does. They say that being popular isn’t all that important. But if they thought for a second and remembered their own childhood, they would understand how deeply mistaken they are. Being popular is necessary, and perhaps this is one of the most important heights that children can achieve.
unpopular child
Psychological writer Hara Marano in his book Why Doesn’t Nobody Love Me? explains: “Popularity is often the single most important determinant of how well a child does in school and how happy they are there. Social development is the cradle of intellectual development. Moreover, as a rule, children who have few or no friends hate school. And they may end up dropping out of school altogether. The child’s social life colors the entire school experience and all school experiences in general. It also determines the further development of the personality for life. See →
Child Popularity Quiz
Do you know how well others treat your child? It is sometimes difficult for parents to determine how popular their child is among their peers. Young children lack the perspective of thinking to grasp the abstract idea of popularity, and older children and teens often simply don’t want to share this information with their parents. However, in general, it can be argued that the more time a child spends with peers and the more varied their pastime, the more popular he is. Answer the questions below (they apply to children 6 years of age and older). The more times you answer «YES», the more popular your child is. See →
It will be very useful for the child to receive specific instructions and help in mastering social skills from you. The rest of this article will talk about the seven «secrets» of social success; some of them are dictated by simple considerations of common sense, while others, it would seem, run counter to what our intuition tells us. It is quite possible that the advice you have just given or are constantly giving to your child will turn out to be completely wrong. Get to know the seven secrets of social success — and you will find out what you yourself did not know before and what your child did not know. Then select some social skill which will help your child make friends and achieve social recognition, and explain to him how to use this method. See →