Actor and teacher Anton Mikhalev filmed “Yeralash” for five years, and now he directs the projects of the Disney TV channel and knows almost everything about the baby. He shared with Woman’s Day the secrets of a trusting relationship with children.
Anton for children is both friend and teacher
How to liberate a child? The most important thing is not to pinch it. It happens that parents put a lot of restrictions: this is not allowed, that is not allowed, without explaining why. The child begins to complex, because he thinks that, having made a step, he will definitely make it wrong. He needs to be given the opportunity to try himself in all directions and hypostases. This will develop self-confidence, help the child to open up.
Listen to your child. We need to talk more and more with children. If you regularly talk on different topics, discuss something, reflect together, you will never lose contact with your child. There is very little communication now. As a rule, parents have either a job or a TV. The child comes home: “Dad, mom, today I saw a yellow leaf fall from the tree.” For a child, this is an event, but for parents: “What nonsense, do not pay attention, billions of these leaves will fall in your life. And what, are we going to waste time on each leaf? ” As soon as the parents react with rejection, what is the point of further coming and telling the child? Listen to them with interest. This is how trust develops. You should be really interested in your child’s life.
Don’t discount the difficulties of children. If you see that the child is silent, looks depressed, of course, you need to sit down and talk to him. Find out what is the reason for his being in himself. Not every child makes contact, someone is shy – act gently, do not press and do not demand to lay everything out. And to you, as an adult, the reason for his sadness may seem frivolous. The most important thing here is not to teach the little person, saying that all this is nonsense, that everything will pass. Just try to teach him to switch from a problem to something else, to forget it for a while.
You must become an authoritative friend for your child.… If for your child you are a certain strict parent who controls and forbids, then sooner or later he will try to deceive you. That is, a connection with a child through strictness is not built. But here we must also remember that a mother who has become a girlfriend will have no influence on the child. Observe the golden mean. For example, when I work with the guys, it looks like this: I am a friend, I came to help you, we have one task, we will cope together, maybe I know a little more than you, but make decisions on your own. At the same time, on the set, I always remain Anton Vladimirovich for the guys. As soon as the patronymic leaves, familiarity begins, my status as a teacher is immediately lost. It is unacceptable.
You need to know what your child is doing on social media. I am categorically opposed to children up to the fifth grade using social networks. Unfortunately, they spend more time with friends on their phones than in person. And on the Internet, in addition to real friends, there are comrades of dubious content with dubious proposals. You can ask about his connections on the network and say: “You know, son (or daughter), he is somehow incomprehensible. What’s interesting about it? ” The child, trusting you, will honestly tell you everything. And you, parents, will be calm for his future, for who he communicates with. Putting some kind of passwords, prohibitions, filters on the computer is not an option. Now children are much smarter, more advanced than we are. You must be able to negotiate with children. And if there is no trusting relationship with the child, there are various programs that help track his actions on social networks. Spying on a child is not very good, but for your own peace of mind you can.
Children should be clear about how to deal with strangers. A child can only trust two people one hundred percent a priori – mom and dad. And mom and dad say that a stranger can be dangerous. Do not maintain a conversation with strangers; if someone starts offering the child ice cream, kitten, candy, he should ignore the offer. If someone unfamiliar approached on the street and is very intrusive, the child needs to get the attention of any other adult. He must understand, remember, understand that there cannot be one in a meeting with a new person, there must be someone else: parents, teachers or other adults.