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😉 Greetings to regular readers and visitors of the site! Friends, the information in the article “How to Love Yourself: Advice from a Psychologist” will help you put things in order in yourself and increase your self-esteem. Love yourself and life will love you!
People sometimes come to psychologists with questions “why they don’t love me” or “I don’t get married, although I follow all the recommendations of psychologists”. “Which psychologists?” Most often, they refer to psychologists from magazines.
No, no one is against gloss and psychologists from magazines. But everything is too complicated there: on one spread you are promised love and success only after this makeup, on the second – only after this clothes, on the third – only after increasing self-esteem.
And where to run? Self-esteem training or new accessories from a magazine? Or maybe just smear your face with anti-wrinkle cream, which everyone who is already “over 30” should have, swell from allergies and eat all the homemade cookies out of grief?
No article can give universal recipes for everyone who is tired of loneliness, or from endlessly empty relationships, or from the state of falling in love with married men. But there is still something!
How to learn to love yourself
The rule of “Three Steps” will help you to love yourself. 🙂 So, let’s go up!
First step
This is an admission that you are absolutely unlucky in your personal life, but you are a magical woman anyway. You need to stand on this step in order to admit your powerlessness in front of the typhoons of love that pass you by; before the oceans of tenderness that do not invite you into their warm embrace.
Believe me, you will get real relief if you do not deceive yourself and others, which you do not care, but will wait, hope and believe. You cannot change that right now. You are powerless.
Second step
She reconciles you to your appearance. With your body, no waist and no neck (write yourself your worst flaws causing tantrum). On this step, you should feel what the famous parable is talking about:
“One day the gardener came to the garden and saw that all the flowers had withered. Why?! Why do they wither ?! The roses wither because they had thorns, and they wanted to have stems like those of cereals. The peonies wilted because they were disheveled, and they wanted the clarity of the lines of the petals, like dahlias.
The bells wilted, because they were depressingly bent down, and the chrysanthemums – because they had too “funeral” aroma and bloomed in late autumn, and not like carnations – in the middle of summer.
The gardener stood in the middle of the garden and shouted: “Listen to me, everyone! If I wanted cereals to grow in place of roses, and carnations in place of chrysanthemums, I would plant cereals and carnations. But I planted you, because these are the flowers I need in my garden!
I do not want you to be different. I love you for your disheveledness, for the solemn spicy smell, for the thorns and your head tilted down. I need you all in your place and in the form that you have ”.
If you feel this parable, if you recognize yourself in peonies or a bell, then only then can you go to the third step.
Third step
This is the desire to live in a special way every day. Change only one day in your life – today. Tomorrow – change tomorrow. And so every day. This is something worth learning. And only then, when you learn, read the magazines and their recommendations.
Perhaps the rules from the glossy edition will help you, or you may not need them anymore. Although it is worth looking at them sometimes. And they are generally very simple and are repeated in different versions from article to article.
Tips on how to love yourself
- Communicate more, listen to other people more and admire their traits aloud;
- go to places where lonely “suitors” do not go – to exhibitions, to the conservatory, to the planetarium or the theater. Walk for yourself;
- choose two colors that suit you and wear simple conceptual clothes – only these two colors;
- change the standards of beauty. Are you curvy? Watch out for curvy models. Are you thin? (oh, who is thin today ?! Everyone considers themselves fat). Are you inconspicuous? Get carried away by outwardly invisible artists, dancers and singers;
- stop making excuses. Especially in front of you;
- do not slouch, loosen your stiffness, slightly gesticulate with your hands while talking and dance in front of the mirror;
- smile at acquaintances and strangers. Smile at yourself, the surrounding nature, smile at the cars.
Go to a psychologist and work with your emotions – guilt, envy, resentment. Print these tips. Read them aloud three times and tear them into small pieces. You are smarter than everyone. You can write tips yourself in glossy magazines. But to love yourself and your shortcomings is a task for the near future.
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In this video useful information “How to love yourself: advice from a psychologist”
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