Мы все мечтаем о собственном доме и о том, как его устроим, и кажется, нет в мире человека счастливее, когда наша мечта обретает реальные стены. Но проходит время, и наше жилище кажется тесным и неуютным. Дженнифер Скотт рассказала, как вернуть ощущение новизны и снова полюбить свой дом, чтобы он ответил взаимностью.
You may already love your home. But most people sooner or later experience dissatisfaction with where they live. This is absolutely normal. It is human nature to want change for the better. Maybe you want to move to a safer area or dream of a bigger house.
We shouldn’t give up our dreams, but we shouldn’t give up our present life either.
After the birth of two daughters, we were literally obsessed with the idea of moving. We told ourselves that we had “outgrown” our apartment. Toys were scattered everywhere. The double stroller had to be left at the front door, where it obstructed the passage. I also had to overcome the stairs, going up to the apartment with groceries. Chaos reigned in the house. We needed more space. We wanted our own garden. We wanted to move.
But a few years before that, when my husband and I had just got married and entered this apartment for the first time, we were enchanted. The house was beautiful and in a good location. When we bought this apartment, there were many applicants for it. My husband and I offered our amount, and we were lucky – we got it.
When we finally moved in, this step was a turning point in my life. I became the mistress of my own house …
For a month, while making a purchase, every evening we passed by the future house and looked at it from the street. Through the open windows one could clearly see the children sitting at dinner, and a huge tree strewn with flowers stretched its branches towards the house. If someone from the family noticed us, we pretended to just walk by.
When we finally moved in, this step was a turning point in my life. I became the mistress of my own home… Life could not be better. The first morning I woke up early and went to the kitchen to make coffee. Opening the window, as the previous tenants did, I let in the chorizia branches. The squirrel, which my daughters and I later called Mr. Squirrel, jumped onto the iron box of the window and sat on the windowsill. It was a magical moment.
If you feel that you have stopped loving your home, it’s time to look at it through the eyes of another person.
For the next few years, we decorated the house. We renovated the bathroom and wall cabinets, changed the equipment in the kitchen to a modern one. All our guests noted how much light the apartment has. It was so spacious. We often listened to music. We opened the windows to let the clean Santa Monica sea air into the living room. And often invited guests and arranged dinner parties.
So how did our beloved home turn into a swamp that we outgrew? How did our home paradise turn into a place we can barely stand? After all, the only thing that has changed, except for the birth of daughters, is our attitude.
When I lived in Paris with an aristocratic family in the Sixteenth arrondissement, they seemed to be able to “negotiate” with the apartment. And they had five children! If they could enjoy life in their own apartment, then why can’t we?
We didn’t have a garden, but I decided to take care of the abandoned plants in the patio and got my girls involved. After a few trips to the garden center, we put on our gardening gloves and hats and started trimming, watering, and fertilizing.
Whether you live in your own home, a rented apartment, or a dorm room, if you feel like you no longer love your home, it’s time to look at it through the eyes of another person.
Instead of leaving a pile of laundry in the corner of your bedroom, you’ll want to sort it out and put it in drawers.
The more we love our home, the more we want to take care of it. And then there will be magical changes.
Instead of leaving a bunch of your laundry in the corner of your bedroom, you’ll want to sort it out and put it in your dresser drawers. Instead of piling up useless things on your mantelpiece, you’ll be tempted to find a place for them and beautifully arrange what you hold dear. And you will do it regularly and with desire. If you love your home, it will love you too.
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Let me ask you: can you easily receive guests at home without feeling anxious? If an old friend suddenly appears on your doorstep, will you be able to enjoy her arrival, or will you beat yourself up for the fact that dirty things are lying around the living room? Will you be comfortable if you have to leave one of the guests to spend the night? What about friends staying at home when you’re away? Start to panic?
Before my husband and I took our annual trip to England to visit family, we ran into an old high school friend of his.
My husband is a generous person, and he was completely unaware of how much the presence of strangers bothers me in a house where everything is not perfect (to be honest, very far from ideal). In the end, he invited a friend to stay with us while we were in England. In response to this, my stomach instantly cramped.
What state did I leave the house in? We left in a bit of a hurry. Guests will have to make fresh sheets for themselves. And what is done in the chest of drawers with linen? Is there a mess? Are the bathrooms clean? Oh no, his friends will find out how badly we run the house.
Husband’s friends had a great time. I’m sure they didn’t care too much about the condition of our house. They were just grateful that they had a place to stay. But the stress I felt because of their visit was enough motivation for me to start putting the house in order upon my return.
About the Author: Jennifer L. Scott is a columnist, blogger, and writer.