Why did your friend turn into a slender woman, and you break down in a week, unable to refuse another chocolate bar? It turns out that willpower has nothing to do with it, in fact, you do not want to lose weight. Behind the layer of fat, you are looking for protection.
Losing excess weight for many turns into an endless battle – kilograms go and come back again and again. To understand the reasons that interfere with losing weight, the book “Friends with the body. How to lose weight forever, or Stop zazory “sports nutritionist Ksenia Korol. Wday.ru publishes an excerpt from a book by a popular fitness expert. So what are you hiding from behind a shell of fat?
What if I tell you that there are situations when, on an unconscious level, you tend to get fat? I will go even further and report that this situation is not an exclusive, but a very common story. From a psychological point of view, fat is a defense. As the tissue around the injury swells when struck, so fat envelops our injured soul.
Here are the most popular stories I’ve come across.
Often, women don’t know what to do with their femininity. Women, especially those who have not been deprived of male attention since childhood, feel their femininity as a frightening force that will lead to no one knows where: either to light, or to darkness. Femininity and sexual energy begin to be perceived as a hindrance or even a danger. The owner tries to take them under control, to subordinate them to cold reason and rationalism. As a result, femininity is blocked and fades away, and excess weight becomes a reliable store for energy that cannot come out. Typical heroes of this story are women who have experienced moral or physical violence (abuse) by the opposite sex. Girls who passionately strive for the male world and want to be accepted there on equal terms, as well as those who, for some reason, were told in childhood that being a girl is bad. Women who have experienced a difficult breakup in which they blame themselves.
Another common story is putting on weight to cement your status as a big boss. At 23, I got my first leadership position, and a 45-year-old aunt was given to me. My task was to restructure the processes with suppliers who were represented by the same adult aunts. Each meeting was full of smirks and phrases like “you are such a young girl, what do you know.” And I was eager not to fail the task of the director of the company. And I fought to the death with my aunts, adopting their manners, rigidity and … size. Six months later, I increased by 16 kg and was no longer such a girl. Neither externally nor internally.
And for the first time I heard this story from a client – a very beautiful girl of 25 years old with great overweight named Anna. Then I came across similar scenarios more than once. This girl is so beautiful that, even in spite of the great excess weight, when she enters the room, the others enthusiastically take her breath away. So, her mother once told her as a child that girls do not want to be friends with her, because she is too beautiful. And she really wanted to be friends with the girls. So she pays for it.
We are all determined to survive. This is the oldest instinct. And he tells us: “Dude, why stick out, sit here warm and full.” And if in cave life this advice was not bad, then in modern social life it generates a lot of suffering. Reaching a new level is always accompanied by discomfort. Each new challenge is a test of the strength of my self-respect. And if everything is not so smooth with self-respect, then it is difficult to take steps. So the situation turns out: I really want to change something in my life, but I’m afraid. And in order to be afraid of “reliably protecting” it, I accumulate excess weight. After all, so I can say that I have not yet deserved a change, and redirect attention to the next diet. Typical heroes of the story: I am fat, and therefore no one loves me and I do not get married. I am fat, and fat people are not promoted up the career ladder. I am fat, which means where do I go from this cheating goat, who else needs me?
Understanding what is the benefit of your particular excess weight gives you the opportunity to change your life.
The reasons can be completely different, I described only the most popular ones that I met. You can identify your personal root causes by answering these questions.
1. What epithets can I describe what I feel in my body at the moment?
2. What does my excess weight prevent me from doing?
3. What makes me overweight? (We start the answer to the question with the particle “not.” Example: do not go on dates).
4. If I allowed myself to do everything that I listed in questions 2 and 3, how would my life change?
5. If I allow myself to be … (insert the answer to the previous question), what terrible and unacceptable would happen in my life?
1. The answer to this question reflects the attitude towards the situation (or maybe the person), which became the root cause of the problem.
2. The answer to this question lists those desires that you block, not allowing them to come true.
3. Unfulfilled, blocked desires also appear here.
4. Here a deep need is revealed, which is blocked by a false belief. For example, if I am sexy and beautiful, men will stop seeing me as a person and my career will go to waste. The need to open up your sexual and feminine energy. False belief – career collapses.
5. The answer to this question allows you to reveal a false belief that blocks your desires and need to be realized, resulting in internal conflicts and the accumulation of excess weight.
Understanding what is the benefit of your particular excess weight gives you the opportunity to change your life at the level of the foundation, instead of persistently puttingty the cracking walls.
To begin with, it is important to accept the existence of the beliefs and the situation that influenced their emergence. It was and is now. Nothing can be done to prevent this from happening.
But there is good news as well. You can change your mind and body now, giving up the false beliefs and fear that forces you to hide in a house of fat.