How to leave your child alone and stop worrying about him

There is no single correct answer, because all children are different. Some at the age of 6 calmly play for hours in the construction set, while their mother runs around the store in search of food for dinner, while others at 11 do not remain at home without their parents.

Of course, an unprepared child cannot be left alone for half a day and go about his business. In such a question, measure and gradualness are needed, and first of all – the readiness of the child himself, because leaving him alone despite the child’s will, you can develop fear and even cause the formation of a phobia.

Therefore, before taking this first step on the path to independence of the child, check his readiness on the following 6 points:

1. The child is not afraid of darkness and confined space, that is, he plays quietly behind a closed door.

2. The child knows emergency numbers, knows how to use the telephone and, if something happens, he will be able to dial yours and their numbers.

3. Knows the rules of safe behavior. He does not play with matches, does not open doors to strangers, does not sit on windowsills and does not look out of open windows.

4. He fulfills the daily routine and your requests calmly, without hysterics.

5. He understands the importance of your employment and is not offended that he has to be alone.

6. He wants to become an adult faster.

Of course, you should not leave your child alone if he is sick, gullible to strangers, hyperactive, curious, disobedient, impressionable or with special signs of development (mental retardation, cerebral palsy, autism, etc.). And also to believe the child at his word that he will behave carefully and calmly, since it is impossible to predict the child’s behavior while he is left alone.

It is necessary to prepare the child for independence with free activity, starting from about the age of four. If the baby is very attached to his mother, then it will be difficult for him to stay alone in the room, even for half an hour. So this is exactly the point from which you need to start.

As soon as you notice that your child is playing with enthusiasm for more than 30 minutes and is not looking around for his mother, and even more so he does not call her every 5 minutes, it means that he has grown a little and is quite ready to occupy himself with the game for a long time.

You can leave the house, leaving the child alone, starting from the age of 6, and do it for short periods of time, for example, take a walk with the dog for 10-15 minutes, run to a neighbor’s house for flour, or go down into the yard with garbage.

Over time, the number of minutes that the child stays at home alone can be increased, but only on one condition – always be punctual. If you promised your son or daughter to come in 30 minutes, at exactly 18:00, then you should do so so that he / she does not develop anxiety: “What if something happened to mom?”

Upon returning home, always take an interest in what the child was doing, praise him for his courage and curiosity or creativity, if, for example, in your absence he read a book or made an application.

And do not scold him for the mess, perhaps, being left alone, he decided to play pirate and looked for treasure in the apartment, imagining that he was alone on a desert island.

If you do not force things and strictly adhere to the plan, then already at the age of seven, the child can spend several hours at home alone.

If you finally understand that you are ready to leave the child alone and he also really wants to become an adult today, be sure to conduct a final briefing. You can even start a notebook where you write the basic rules of conduct (if he can read) or draw them, and he will put his familiarization sign in front of each one.

So, what should the child remind and do for mom?

1. Check if he remembers the first and last names of all family members, home address and phone number, as well as the phone numbers of the parents. If the child has a mobile phone, write down the numbers of all relatives for him and put on a quick call.

2. Tell about emergency services and leave their phone numbers, explaining how to talk to operators.

3. If you are friends with your neighbors, leave them a spare key and let them know that your child is alone at home today.

4. Remind you not to have long conversations with strangers on the phone and with those who rang the doorbell. The answer should be short: “Mom is busy now, call, come back later.”

5. Do not leave open windows at home. And talk again about the dangers of sticking out of them. Take away temptations – matches, medicines, household chemicals, lighters, alcohol. Shut off the gas. Leave snacks on the table. If a child knows how to use a microwave, then you must be sure that the wiring is working properly.

6. And of course, don’t show your child your excitement. Even if you are very, very afraid, he should not guess about it. Trust him.

7. Call, ask what he is doing now, what cartoon he is watching or what game he is playing, what his mood is and what kind of “tasty” he expects from his mother.

Sooner or later, all children will be alone. Be mindful of your child’s emotional state when you return, and be sure to be interested in how they spent their time.

It turns out that in some states of America, even a 14-year-old teenager cannot be left alone. And if there is no way for the parents to take him with them, that is, there is only one way out – to leave him with the nanny, otherwise this is a violation of the rights of the child and may lead to legal proceedings.

Measures against parents have also been tightened in many European countries, where the presence of a child who has not yet turned 12 years old alone can lead to his removal from the family by social services.