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Instructions for moms who are going to involve dads in caring for young children. The main thing in this business is a positive attitude and a sense of humor.
At first, a mother is more important for a baby than a father, but sometimes she also needs a rest from endless worries about a tiny child. And if there are no grandmothers nearby, then you have to rely only on your husband. Want to get away from home? Prepare the child’s dad for this event in advance. WDay suggests how to leave your husband on the farm with the least loss for the psyche of all family members.
The most “helpless” are the dads of babies and children up to 2-3 years old. After all, children still cannot explain: “What’s wrong?” Therefore, incidents occur. So, to avoid them:
1. We train dad!
Psychologists advise to act gradually so that the newly-made father gets used to the little one. At first, trust the child with the dad while you are around. Just ask your husband to look after the baby, while you yourself go about your business in another room or in the kitchen. Let the father first be alone with the baby for at least 10-15 minutes, then a little longer. When dad begins to cope with his son or daughter on his own for a whole hour, you can go about business!
History of Life
“While my sister was pregnant, we trained with my husband on a plush Winnie the Pooh to change diapers. And now – the first night with the baby at home. The baby started crying, dad got up and changed the diaper. But the cry did not subside. Mom had to get up. In the crib next to the baby, Winnie lay in a diaper backwards. “
2. We give him specific instructions
Try to explain everything to the young dad in detail what needs to be done, for example, if the child wakes up; how and what to feed him. If it gets dirty – what to change into. Explain where the clothes are, where the toys are, what kind of music disks the baby loves.
History of Life
“When my daughter was four years old, I was admitted to the hospital for a week. She left them with her husband, giving detailed instructions. She asked me to wear clean clothes every day! Dad “did not find” his daughter’s dress in the closet. Therefore, every day I washed and ironed the one that was on her. So she went to kindergarten in the same dress all week. “
3. We do not criticize!
There is no doubt that you know everything better! But try to contain the criticism of the Pope. Yes, at first he will be clumsy with the baby. You, too, did not immediately learn to swaddle, feed, bathe. Explain patiently what to do and in what order. Reward him for his efforts. If the baby cries, give your dad a chance to calm him down. If the young father thinks that he already knows everything – do not overpersuade!
History of Life “My daughter was 2 years old. Already weaned from diapers. As I left, I showed my dad where my daughter’s spare panties were. When I returned a couple of hours later, I found my daughter in my lace panties. “They are so small, I thought it was her.”
4. We always stay in touch with him
Leaving home, assure your husband that he can call you at any moment and ask something about the baby. This will give him confidence that he can handle it. If you cannot answer, leave the phone number of your mother or a friend who has children to your husband.
History of Life
“I left my husband with a three-month-old son for half a day. The son had to sleep on the balcony for the first 2 hours. It was in March. Our responsible dad ran out to the balcony every 10 minutes and checked if the child was awake. And then in one of the “checks” the balcony door slammed shut from the draft. Baby in a blanket. Dad in his underpants. He started shouting to the neighbors to call his wife. The neighbor on the right looked out and borrowed the phone. Half an hour later, I rushed over, rescued the “freezing” one. The child slept for another hour. “
5. Remember that a well-fed child is a contented child.
Before leaving, try to feed your baby and make sure he is doing well. If the child is in a good mood, then the dad is likely to have a positive experience and become more confident in his abilities. And the next time he is more willing to agree to sit with the baby and, perhaps, even he will be able to feed and change his clothes.
History of Life
“Mom went on a business trip for 3 days. I left my dad money for food. On the very first day, dad happily spent all the money on a drill with a perforator. The rest of the days, my daughter and dad ate vegetable soup from zucchini. “
6. We organize leisure
Think ahead of time about what dad and baby will do while you are away. Prepare toys, books, put extra clothes in a prominent place, leave food.
History of Life
“They left my daughter with her dad, and she started playing with dolls and giving him water from a doll’s cup. Dad was very happy until mom came back and asked: “Honey, where do you think Lisa gets water from?” The only “source” that a two-year-old girl can reach is the toilet. “
7. Keeping calm
When leaving your baby with your dad, try not to show your excitement. If you are calm and positive, your mood will be passed on to your husband and child. When you return home, do not forget to praise your spouse, even if the house is a little messy, and the baby seems to be not well-fed to you. Feeling that he is doing great, dad will stop shirking his child.
History of Life
“Two-year-old Leroux was left with her dad. They were given CU: warm up porridge for lunch, boil an egg for an afternoon snack. In the evening – an oil painting: the stove is covered with milk. The sink is piled high with dishes: plates, saucers, pots, pans … Looking at a 5-liter saucepan, my mother asks: “What were you doing in this one ?!” Dad replies: “The egg was boiled.”
8. Explain that crying is a way to communicate
Explain to your dad not to be afraid of a baby crying. Up to a year and a half is the main way of communicating with the world. Because the child does not know how to speak yet. Almost all mothers can determine what he wants by crying a baby. Maybe he is hungry or he needs to change his diaper. Dads can learn this too. More often ask your husband to determine what the baby needs. Over time, dad will begin to distinguish all the tones of baby crying no worse than you. But this only comes with experience. Arrange for dad “training” (see point one).
History of Life
“The youngest son, Luka, was 11 months old. He stayed with his dad for the whole day. In the evening my husband calls me: “He follows me all day and roars! Maybe something hurts? ” “Darling, what did you feed him for lunch?” “O! He had to be fed! “