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When unresolved tasks snowball and things don’t go according to plan, it’s easy to panic! After all, it seems as if control over one’s own life is irretrievably lost. At times like these, it’s good to slow down and look at the situation with fresh eyes. How? Try one of these exercises.
Sometimes it happens: you go out into the street, and there is slush, dull houses, the sky is gray, crowds of people with gloomy faces. And then suddenly the sun appears through the clouds — and the world is transformed. Transparent drops are reflected in the windows, the asphalt glistens in the light, smiles appear on the faces. Everything seems to be different.
You can achieve this effect in your inner life as well.
We perceive the same reality differently depending on how the internal “lens” is set. “If you look at life through the prism of struggle and discontent, you get one result; if through the prism of care and interest, then the other,” writes psychotherapist Katherine Ozhesch in Time for Yourself. She collected 52 practices, of which we chose five: they will allow you not to drown in the flow of urgent matters, avoid burnout and do everything in time.
1. Reorientation
In many malls, you can see stands with a map and a big red arrow that says, «You are here.» Seeing her, we calm down: «I know where I am, and I can find the way.»
But what if we get lost in our own lives? Even GPS must first determine your location and then build a route. Consciously ask yourself the question: “What is really going on right now?” — and your internal GPS locator will turn on.
Try practicing mindful pauses wherever you go. You can be guided by the abbreviation HERE (here):
Here (here): stop and say to yourself: «I’m here.»
Expand: Expand your focus area and distinguish between images, sounds, body sensations, thoughts and emotions.
Reconnect: Reconnect with yourself and the present moment by feeling connected to the earth through your feet, and then place your palm over your heart area.
Engage: Connect with yourself in a friendly and comforting way and take a deep breath.
2. Control in the details
In a situation of severe stress and time pressure, you can regain a sense of control over life through the implementation of small household tasks.
Make a list of things you can do today: make an appointment with the dentist; pick up clothes from dry cleaning; buy a gift for my niece. Completed tasks immediately cross off the list. Feel the satisfaction of this process, regardless of how insignificant your progress looks. Each of them actually proves your ability to get things done.
If the task seems too voluminous, break it down into small steps and feel the satisfaction of completing each of them. Remind yourself that you can influence the course of life even in small things.
3. Zone of Silence
We have grown accustomed to silence. It’s hard for us to even drive a car without a radio or music. Many meditation retreats offer the traditional Buddhist practice of «noble silence.» Participants refuse to listen to music, use entertainment devices, talk, and even read. Silence here is not a punitive measure, but a way to express respect for a slow life and take a break from the frantic pace of modern life.
If you have ever been in a dense forest or at the foot of mountains, entered a temple where silence reigns, then you know this feeling of awe.
We all need a break from time to time
Make it a rule to immerse your senses in silence every day, even if only for a few minutes.
When driving, turn off the player or radio.
When you go for a walk, walk in silence, don’t plug your ears with music or a podcast.
When spending time with a friend, especially if they need to be listened to, periodically ask yourself, «Will the words I want to say be better than silence?»
4. Nutritional balance
Every day we experience events that fill us or empty us. Burnout occurs when the ratio of feeding and depleting events is out of balance.
What is your day? Replay a typical day in your head from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed. Write down on a piece of paper all your actions hour by hour. Then, next to each hour or each action, mark its quality: filling, emptying, or both. At the end, evaluate their ratio.
If your activities are dominated by devastating activities, make a list of what brings you pleasure and add at least one of these elements every day. If you, for example, iron things, turn on the music. If you’re stuck in traffic, call a loved one to share your thoughts and feelings.
5. Grounding
At times the mind seems to be constantly in a state of free fall, periodically bumping into memories from the past and worries about the future. And sometimes he resembles a sportscaster: he chats incessantly, distracting us from the game. And the longer we listen to it, the more easily we lose touch with what is really happening. Here is a practice to help you ground yourself and not let your thoughts distract you:
Think about what upsets you, annoys you, and makes you nervous. Notice how the mind reproduces situations and accompanies them with its own comments.
Now observe the sensations in your body. Do you feel stiff, nervous, restless or something similar?
Shift your attention to the feeling of direct contact of the body with a hard surface. Feel the floor under your feet. Feel the pressure, warmth, hardness or softness of whatever you are sitting or lying on.
Allow these sensations to fully capture your attention. Tell yourself that at this moment your body is securely held. It is a physical reality that you can perceive and feel.
When the mind wants to go back to speculation and reenacting the hurtful situation, focus on feeling the contact of the body with the support. You don’t have to make an effort to just sit or stand where you are right now. Gravity itself holds you. It doesn’t matter where the mind goes, because you know for sure that at the moment the furniture, floor and earth support you and give you protection.