Remember, pagers were popular many years ago? Many of us also wanted one for ourselves, and then these devices just took and disappeared. It was the same with ICQ: you are going to install, but it turns out that everyone is already talking on Skype. Or whatsapp or viber. So chasing technology is a rather pointless exercise: they become obsolete too quickly. And that means you don’t have to worry about it.
I have an archive. A whole box of photographs, magazines and newspapers dating back to the year 2000. Come on, I think I’ll put things in order there, I’ll throw something out. But, as usual in such cases, the eye catches on the text, and now, instead of throwing it away and sorting it out, I have been sitting for half a day and reading newspapers fifteen years ago.
An interesting article in the magazine «Big City» for 2003. They say that a cafe has opened in Moscow, stuffed with modern technologies. They will not only pour coffee there, but they will also give you a laptop if you want. A network cable is stretched to the table, plugged into a laptop — and you are on the Internet. Wow, they write in the article how technology has stepped. I am reading this article, and I understand that then people did not have any devices with them and there was no wi-fi either.
Still, they write further in the magazine, pagers are gradually disappearing and they are being replaced by mobile communications. In short, the authors state, progress is inexorable. I put my drawer with the archive back on the shelf, and I can’t stop thinking about the article from the Big City. No, not that the cutting-edge technology of 2003 now seems so cute and ancient. It always happens when you look back from the future that has come.
And, for example, that I know many who wanted a pager, but did not have time, and that one was already outdated, and paging companies closed. I wanted to install ICQ, but no one is sitting there. I was going to master Skype, and everyone says: what Skype, put a viber. I don’t think these people have lost anything. It seems to me that you can, in principle, not chase after these technologies: it’s not scary to miss something in 2018, since it will quickly become obsolete anyway.
By the way, the fear of missing something important is the main neurosis of our time. It is because of him that we constantly check our phone that is always beeping with instant messengers, because of him we want to be in touch 24 hours a day, because of him we scroll through the news or Facebook feed again and again. What if we don’t know or miss something damn important? It’s not for me to tell you, you yourself know how it happens: the pursuit of the next novelty, gadget, message, update, and so on.
Probably somewhere there is someone who will suit us better, someone perfect, but in a lifetime you can not meet him.
And so it seems to me that in the fight against the fear of missing something, the simple discovery that in fact we will not miss anything important, even if we fall into a lethargic sleep, will help just fine. Let’s fall asleep, say, when the first iPhone came out, and wake up when the tenth came out, having overslept all the intermediate models.
Nobel Prize-winning American researcher Herbert Simon argues that we humans simply do not have the cognitive abilities to process endless streams of information and make the best possible decisions. It is much more reasonable to choose an option that fits the criterion of “good enough”. That is, I have a fairly good phone, a fairly good car, I am quite well aware of world events, I respond to your messages quite quickly, for example, once a day, and so on. Instead of chasing an endless update of information and technology, you can choose a pace that is comfortable enough for you.
According to economists, in business, it is the “just enough” strategy that is the most profitable in the long run.
Even when it comes to emotions, “quite enough” is what you need. British psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott defined a «quite good mother» as opposed to a «good mother». “Quite good” is the mother who loves the child and adequately responds to his needs and requests. But not for all requests and not always. And the child — yes, sometimes upset, but at the same time learns to understand that in life, in addition to pleasures, there will also be disappointments, and this is normal. And this is the door to a successful adult life.
The principle of sufficiency also applies to love: we settle for a «quite good» life partner. Yes, probably somewhere there is someone who will suit us better, someone perfect, but in a lifetime you can not meet him. Therefore, we take «suitable enough.» And exactly with such happy marriages turn out.
In short, we return to where we started — to the rapidly obsolete elements of progress. Well, you didn’t have a pager, ICQ, you don’t have whatsapp, telegram, iPhone now, and that’s okay. But you walked along the street and looked around, and did not take pictures and post pictures. In fact, the pursuit of the newest or the best for a happy life is not needed, because we will not miss anything and no one really important.