😉 Greetings to my dear readers! Friends, in the article “How to learn to say NO – simple tips and videos” we will try to learn this. There are those who envy people who know how to calmly and without anger deny others, and even so that no one begins to persuade them and insist.
To understand how they do it, it’s worth thinking about what the fear of saying NO is based on. Typically, in such cases, people are driven by the fear of appearing bad, hurting the person or being rejected.
How to learn to refuse people
From childhood, we are taught to be good. This leads to the fact that grown-up children are diagnosed as a “good girl,” which manifests itself in the fact that everything that such a girl does is done for others. She needs to be useful, and the worst thing for her is condemnation and criticism.
All actions of such people are aimed at obtaining praise and approval. In addition, we often have to deal with manipulations from loved ones who say that we should be ashamed of something or feel guilty.
It is worth remembering that such phrases mean attempts at manipulation, in order not to become their victim, you need to stop making excuses. A reliable person is always easy to manipulate.
It is worth listening to yourself, your feelings and emotions, if the inner voice says “no”, then this is what should be said with an outer voice, calm and confident.
Remember that you do not have to make excuses, because the person puts pressure on you in pursuit of his own interests, which means that you can take an example from him and also take care of your comfort.
To make it easier to refuse, it is worth remembering about psychological human rights, so everyone has the right to express their own feelings, assessments and opinions without excuses and apologies, to set their own priorities, to declare their needs.
Everyone can be himself, in spite of what others expect from him, say the word “yes” or “no” without feeling guilty, make mistakes, change his mind, not insist on his own, that is, give in.
To develop the skill of saying no, you need to practice.
Exercise: Within one day, you turn down everyone, no matter what you are offered. In a polite manner, of course.
Of course, you shouldn’t do this all the time, the main thing is to develop a skill that will help you understand whether you yourself decided to do something or imposed it on you, and behave accordingly.
And in conclusion, I want to tell you an incident from my life.
How I Couldn’t Say No
Each of us is looking forward to his annual vacation – the time when you can go to the sea or go on an interesting journey.
This unpleasant story happened many years ago … My husband and I decided to relax at the recreation center, which was located on the Black Sea coast. A good friend of mine was the director of the base:
– Live for free, pay only for food.
There are several buildings and a dozen small houses at the base. Breakfast lunch and dinner. In short, everything for a carefree holiday on the seashore. We settled in a cozy two-room suite with a balcony. 😉 Paradise for two! The beauty! Fantastic! So three happy days of a two-week vacation passed.
Then there was the usual call to friends: how they got there, how they settled down. And then an unexpected request from a friend: if we have two free rooms, can we “shelter” a son and daughter-in-law for a few days? Friends, I could not refuse! I couldn’t say the word no. Apparently, when a person is happy, he is kind!
But with the arrival of the son of friends, our happiness ended. You will not believe! Instead of one couple, 6 guests arrived: a son with a wife and a child, a friend of a son with a wife and a child. Children 5 years old. Total (together with us) = 8 persons!
For ten days, our room turned into a noisy hostel! Queues for the toilet and the shower! In one word – “Bazaar-station”! Another detail: the room had two rooms, but there were no interior doors!
On the beach, too, sunbathing “camp”. Sometimes I had to look after the children when their parents left them. It was the most disgusting vacation of my life. This would not have happened if I had then politely refused. In this situation, only I am to blame.
Valuable Tips: How to Learn to Say NO
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