Contents
How to learn to make decisions
Psychology
Some decisions are irrelevant, but others instead mark the course of our lives. So deciding something is not thinking about it and leaving the idea in the air, but going for it until you reach it
Taking charge of our lives may not be an easy task. Over the years we find ourselves with increasingly complex situations, and while there are irrelevant decisions For example, choosing the clothing every day or the vacation destination of each summer, there are others much more important, such as choosing the professional career that we are going to study, the place of residence or even a break. In any case, the importance given to each one of the acts differs from one to the other: the choice that is important to me may not be so to someone else.
What all the individuals in the world do agree on is how complicated it is when you have to choose between two or more options. It has happened to all of us on more than one occasion to hear a someone’s reflection on life, and when you hear it, your heart tells you that it is true, that the message moves you. But after passing the moment when your hair stands on end, your routine returns to what it was and the long lists of daily actions return that lead you to the same results with the same facts. Olga Fernández, trainer and writer of «Vivir mola» knows this duality very well: «When you have a goal and your mind makes this goal more yours, what you get is more enthusiasm, and that makes you increase the vibration of what you want to achieve . That’s how it works. Deciding something is not thinking about it and leaving the idea in the air. Decisions are acts of stating, acting, and developing with the faith that it is possible».
Why is it hard for us to make decisions
As we have said, not all the decisions we are faced with are difficult to make. As explained by the expert Olga Fernández, who delves into this issue throughout her book “Living is cool”, in which she talks about those issues that make our existence difficult, making decisions is not so complicated when we really understand the concept well. “Making decisions is intrinsic to immediate action, and that is what makes it a decision. If not, it is one more idea on a bag from a wish list, ”says the writer.
It is fear that approaches us every time we debate between various possibilities. This emotion blocks even the emotion of consequences; a limiting force of the imagination of see us with the result obtained or with the reward of satisfaction for having achieved it. Olga Fernández says that “this paralyzing fear makes everything dark,” even in small decisions. This feeling is accentuated in the social patterns that exist where immediacy is a trend and the short-term benefits seem normal. “We are more afraid of undertaking something than of continuing to postpone it, without realizing that continuing to delay should really scare us.”
As the author of “Living is cool” says, making decisions is nothing more than a challenge due to the lack of habit we have of not doing what we really want. «When you are clear about where you are walking, decision making is not a problem in itself; In fact, among few things you have to be debating, because when there is a focus where you have your attention with a goal in mind, emotion and action, little distracts you and you do not debate its complexity, coherence and desire simplify a lot, “he explains .
The worst time to make decisions
There will be those who agree and there will be those who do not, but the expert knows when is the worst time to make a decision. the night. Apparently, the emotional charges, fatigue, anger and other emotions that can appear especially after a workday create an undesirable energy for us to decide important things. «The best moment is to take advantage of the ‘momentum’ that is just behind a small or great personal or collective success. Therein lies the impulse that gives personal satisfaction, pride in oneself ”, reveals Olga Fernández.
The writer recommends being clear that the goals of each of us are unique, non-transferable and are the engine by which we get up every morning. And if you’ve wondered why you often ask for an opinion before making a decision, Olga Fernández has something to say: «Human beings care about the opinion of others because we have decided to believe in the past that acceptance has to do with love. We have a natural fear that they will not love us », he says, but we must know how to go to the right people…« All successful people are afraid because they decided to walk towards their goals in everything they did without comparing themselves to anyone. If you are ever looking for a reference or an opinion, of course you just listen who has the results they want, discarding to consider valid the opinion of those who have not succeeded, who usually have a great variety of excuses; their own grounds for not having done it, ”says the decision-making expert.