I am glad to welcome you, dear readers of my blog! I have repeatedly told you in previous articles “live here and now”, but today I decided to explain in more detail what this phrase, simple at first glance, really means. After all, how can you learn to enjoy the present moment if there are a lot of thoughts and worries about the future and problems from the past in your head? And it’s easy, although sometimes you have to control yourself.
Why do we need this?
A person who does not know how to live in reality resembles various main characters from science fiction films when they get stuck in some other worlds and spaces. Indeed, in fact, physically we are in the present, but mentally, that is, thoughts, in another time.
Yes, it is very important to comprehend one’s past in order to assimilate and appropriate the experience gained, to realize mistakes. Or vice versa, to think about the future and project possible difficulties, thinking in advance about the options for their solution. But there must be boundaries in everything, and if we worry too much about what can happen, we will not have time to notice the opportunities that life provides us.
Yes, it is important to live your dream so that there is motivation for action and in general, the desire to live remains. But even at the same time, it is necessary to be able to rejoice and accept other amenities, to appreciate them. Otherwise, there is a risk of spending whole years without pleasure, focusing on only one main aspiration, which, unfortunately, may not be fulfilled. And it often happens that a dream, after many years, simply loses its relevance. Life just passes by, and it’s really scary.
A warning
No one knows how many years he is destined to live, and, postponing something for later, not everyone comes to the realization that it may not come later. Yes, I’m talking about terrible and unpleasant things. But what could be worse than carelessly wasting every hour, minute, second of your life?
No one is able to control time, humanity is not able to turn it back, which is why it is so important to cherish every moment, catch them, be aware and have the courage to be in the present, sometimes living not the most pleasant feelings. So that one day with regret you don’t ask yourself the question: “Have I lived my life in vain?”. This is what the phrases “to be here and now”, “to live consciously” really mean.
We don’t have to follow the law of gravity, but if we just ignore it, we could fall to our deaths. I love one metaphor very much, which sounds like this: in order to know where we are going next, it is important to know where exactly we are going from. But the most important thing is where exactly we are at the moment. Only in this way, and in no other way, can we achieve success, that is, come to what we want.
In the jungle, the law of reality works without the right to make a mistake, there you need to look around well, without dreams, otherwise there is a risk of not surviving.
Two sides of the medal
It often happens that people who have been diagnosed with deadly diseases, such as oncology or AIDS, and found out about the time allotted on earth, eventually began to thank their diseases. Do you know why? Because they were aware of their finiteness and appreciated every minute they lived, saturating it with desires, events and everything that they wanted to do, but did not dare.
I will say more, after such a moral «revival», most of them recovered, and those who did not — spent the last days in the fullness of sensations. In such situations, the expression comes to mind about how important quality is, not quantity. After all, it’s true, if you look around, there are a lot of “dead” living people around, “robotic” and tired of everything, for one simple reason — they do not know how to appreciate their present, their life and close people nearby. Why don’t you start doing this while you are healthy and full of energy?
Unfortunately, this is problem #1 for me. It’s hard for me to live here and now. But a lot of reading and thinking, you can draw some conclusions on how to avoid this. Below are recommendations. If you have your own opinion, please write it in the comments. I will be grateful to you for your advice. If your advice is really valid, I will correct the article and add, with your permission, tips on how to better achieve mindfulness.
Recommendations
1 Why?
Every time you realize that you are stuck on events that happened a long time ago, ask yourself the question of why you need this? Why, for example, do you hold onto the idea for years that men are the same and nothing good will happen next to them? Because there was a negative experience in the past? Or are you satisfied with your loneliness, and you just find such an excuse? So, to be here and now is to be honest with yourself, it is to be ready to risk living, which means trying again and again, or accepting yourself as you are.
2. You need to learn one truth — everything changes
And so do we, every day. And if I said yesterday that someone is insanely dear to me, then today he may no longer be so significant to me, and this does not mean that yesterday I was lying. Everything just changed today. This is me to the fact that you should be able to notice yourself and allow yourself to be. Life is not static, it is in constant dynamics and movement, so you should not “execute” yourself for changes.
3.Feeling yourself
To notice oneself in reality, one must perform many functions at the same time, so to speak, to be Julius Caesar. What does it mean? And the fact that in addition to the surrounding reality, you should also discover yourself, that is, your thoughts, feelings, sensations in the body, audible sounds. It is not simple. Especially not to tie it all to past experience. Act gradually, and over time you will be able to balance all the incoming information.
For example, set aside 15 minutes a day for this exercise: sit on a chair, and for 5 minutes just look, saying to yourself everything that you see in front of you, around you, starting the phrase «I see.» You’ll be surprised how many details you haven’t seen before. Then also, only concentrating on the sounds. And finally, it will be necessary to listen to the sensations in the body, feeling it every centimeter.
By the way, meditation helps me with this. You can read about it here.
4. Finally give up the method of postponing everything until later
After all, how to learn to be in the present when you deprive yourself and ignore needs? This tomorrow may well not come, or be irrelevant. This also applies to shifting responsibility, or rather, attempts to avoid it by making promises to yourself from Monday to change. Got an idea to do something? Then immediately proceed to action, otherwise it is unlikely that what you have planned will become a reality.
Bought a beautiful service? Use now and have fun, the same applies to the rest, waiting for an opportunity. You are responsible for your life, and you have the right to organize various events in it.
5.Here, listen to yourself right now, what do you want?
And how realistic is this desire to realize at the moment? What do you get pleasure from? How do you rest? Now remember, when was the last time you allowed yourself to relax and do exactly what you want?
6. Replacement of reality
I want to strongly recommend that you get rid of the habit of «hang» on the Internet, «disappear» watching TV. These are the killers of your time, which quietly disappears. Take a look around — sometimes the real is not as beautiful as in the virtual world. On this topic, I already wrote an article “What to do if your life is spent in social networks and how to overcome this problem?”.
7.Process
Your high ambitions and motivation to achieve is great, but it is very important to enjoy the process as well, so do not focus only on the result, learn to pause and notice if you like what you are doing? And if not, then make an effort to find an opportunity to enjoy your activity, to find something good and pleasant in it.
8. A little secret
If you remember, in an article about aerophobia, I suggested using a rubber band on the wrist to switch from irrational fears, returning to reality. This method is also effective in case of excessive fantasizing and avoiding the present. So, every time you notice that you are not in the moment, but somewhere far away, pull the rubber band and let go, so your mind will switch, and your body will cheer up.
9. Judgments
By the way, recently, in an article about the deductive method of Sherlock Holmes, I talked about importance without a value judgment, that is, when we simply observe and do not give a subjective assessment of what is happening.
10. Practice before bed
Every night, before going to bed, try to identify and name 10 things that happened to you during the day and caused pleasant emotions. Perhaps you did not attach importance to some events before, because the nature of a person is such that he notices the importance of processes only when they stop working. We don’t have to go far, we are not aware of our breathing, although if we cut off access to oxygen, we will understand how vital it is for us.
This is a very good practice. Personally, I did this: every night before going to bed, I remember 5 things I did, for which I am grateful to myself. And then I say to myself 5 things that the next day I will do better than ever. I wrote more about this in articles about my goals. Here is a link to a section with all articles and reports about my achievement of goals.
Conclusion
And that’s all for today, dear readers! I hope you understand that you should take action right now, and no delay for later. Write comments, I’m very interested to read your thoughts. Take care of yourself and loved ones!