We know how to look into the future, set goals and plan to achieve them. But we often forget the importance of the past. But it is it that is the source of valuable experience, strength and self-confidence. Even when it seems that there is nothing but pain and disappointment in it, we can find a way to see the good in it. We tell you how to do it.
We can use the past as a resource, because sometimes it contains the answers that we need in the present, which means that they can change the future. In the past, each of us definitely had situations that made us better and stronger. Looking back, you can learn to draw conclusions, sum up intermediate results, and even return inspiration. Therefore, it is worth learning to appreciate the past. Although sometimes it is difficult to do so.
How to find a resource in the past
Probably everyone understands how important it is to look to the future, to choose a direction where you can throw all your strength. And many sit down to plan, set goals for themselves, goals are divided into tasks, tasks into steps. Someone prioritizes, and someone makes lists.
We are looking for hope and inspiration in the future, we expect that tomorrow life will be better than today. But we forget about the importance of the past, we do not try to find something significant in it, especially if it was difficult.
But in it, sources of strength and self-confidence can be found. For example, the difficulties we have overcome, important lessons that have made us better. It is important to look at these points.
The strength of the past is that it is unchanging. There is a saying: «If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.» The future is not guaranteed: any scenario we imagine may not come true. But the past is already imprinted in our experience. And stay with us forever.
The older we are, the more important it is for us to be able to look back and find the good in our lives.
As an example, I will give the story of one of my clients. The future seemed vague to him, he felt insecure, suffered from low self-esteem, which did not allow him to expect something good from the future. The client believed that his past was a continuous series of failures, mistakes and misfortunes, and his future life would be the same.
But when we began to understand, there were many important episodes in his past that could become a source of self-esteem and self-confidence for him. For example, an independent and difficult refusal of alcohol, on which the man depended. The courage he showed as a teenager in a summer camp at a disco. Creativity in which he found himself. And rehabilitation after a serious illness. And the kindness he showed to those who had it even harder…
And after we discovered all this, the client said, “I didn’t even think about it.”
I think that everyone has resources in the past, relying on which a person can go into the future. And appreciating the past is an important skill for older people. The older we are, the more important it is for us to be able to look back and find the good in our lives. How to learn this?
Logotherapy is a branch of psychotherapy focused on the search for the meanings of existence, which pays special attention to the resources of the past and sees in it sources of strength. There is a technique in logotherapy that helps achieve this goal.
Exercise «Mountain peaks»
Let’s choose a certain period of time. For example, last year.
Step 1. Looking back, remember all the significant events of the past year. Write them down on a piece of paper or in a computer file.
Step 2. Look at these events and note the ones that have helped you become the best version of yourself. It doesn’t have to be pleasant events. It could be the difficulties that you have overcome, and the serious life lessons that you have learned, and your goals achieved.
Make a list of events that have filled your life with meaning and helped you become the best version of yourself. If you are considering a yearly period, then it is perfectly normal if you remember 10-15 such events.
You may have run your first marathon. Or read some book that seemed special to you. Or maybe you opened your first business. Or supported a relative who suffered a serious illness. Or watched a movie that changed your thinking. Or maybe you helped the orphanage as a volunteer.
Think of all the things that made you a better person last year. You may notice that not all significant events served as the basis for your development.
If you make it a rule to sum up intermediate results, then one day you will realize how life is filled with content.
Step 3. Next to each event that helped you become a better person, write why it played such an important role in your life. For example:
- I ran my first marathon. Thanks to this event, I believed in my strength, it always seemed to me that this was impossible.
- I read Jack London’s Martin Eden. She gave me the answer to the question of why it is so difficult to develop in creativity, and showed that perseverance helps to win in any situation.
- I lost my business, but I was able to open a new one. This event helped me understand that I have become a mature entrepreneur.
Step 4. Next to each event, write the month in which it occurred. For example:
- marathon — May;
- Jack London «Martin Eden» — July;
- business update — September.
If some event lasted several months, then select the one in which there was the brightest episode.
For example: “I have been cleaning the grove next to my house all year. But in September I was able to connect my neighbors to this and realized that I am not the only one who cares about the cleanliness of the place where we live.”
Step 5. Now take a piece of paper, sign the year on top, and draw an arrow at the bottom from left to right. It will be the axis, which you will divide into 12 equal segments. Label each of these segments: January, February, and so on.
Step 6. Draw mountain peaks above this axis. Each peak will correspond to an important event for you. Therefore, the top for the marathon will be over the segment that corresponds to May, the top for Martin Eden — over July, the renewal of business — over September. Above the peaks, sign the events themselves, and at the base of the mountains, decipher why these events turned out to be so significant for you.
As a result, you will get a clear picture of your achievements.
And remember: years add up to life. And if you make it a rule to sum up intermediate results, notice and highlight significant events, then one day you will realize how life is filled with content. And looking back, you will experience satisfaction.