The modern era of «production» of bodies and beauty makes girls feel embarrassed about their appearance. From TV screens and from the pages of fashion magazines, ideal models and actresses are watched, the comparison with which plunges ordinary women into depression. Psychotherapist Susie Orbach shares how to resist this pressure and find the strength to be yourself.
As a child, among my friends there were only one or two beautiful girls. But no one was particularly worried about this. We knew there were movie stars out there somewhere, celestial beings who were supposed to be perfect. But it didn’t even occur to us to “sculpt” beauty queens out of ourselves. Now look at today’s girls. They buy dolls with a perfect figure, they advertise dietary supplements for weight loss on TV, they see photoshopped faces in magazines.
In computer games, they can do plastic surgery on some Barbie: “cut off” something, “sew” somewhere. Modern children live with the feeling that a good figure, beautiful faces, hair — this is what everyone should have. If you don’t fit certain standards, you’re a loser.
We are told that our bodies are the most important thing about us. They show the world who we are, what our expectations, aspirations, opportunities are — and that is why we must decorate, train, shape them. Superimpose another ideological message on this: “It all depends on you. Only you yourself can make yourself beautiful and healthy, ”and you will get the main cause of the neuroses of modern people.
We all «produce» the body that we think is optimal. Instead of producing something else, we are engaged in the production of our own bodies.
Anxious people are forced to keep in shape through contempt for other others — those who are overweight, or cellulite, or folds on the sides.
What body is considered optimal today? The one you would buy! What a small number of people in this world have, most do not have. By the way, the entire beauty industry and the fashion business are built on this. They thrive on confusing people, making them feel like their bodies need a change.
I will never do cosmetic surgery. I am 69 and gratefully accept the changes that are happening to my body. If I was afraid of wrinkles, then I would probably hide from everyone in the closet a long time ago, because I actually have a lot of wrinkles.
There is a very thin line between natural and excessive (perverted) care for health and one’s own body. Of course, it is a great pleasure to go for a walk, do exercises, eat a healthy breakfast. But I think many people enjoy getting over themselves more than cooperating with their own bodies.
The idea of a healthy body is so destabilizing that anxious people are forced to keep fit through contempt for others — those who are overweight, or have cellulite, or have creases in their sides. The latter are considered less capable, less worthy, less pleasant.
We despise fat people out of self-hatred. Why do we hate ourselves so much?
In our consumer society, we have less and less control over our desires. And in this sense, anorectics (people striving for painful thinness) and compulsive eaters (those who eat even when they do not feel hungry) are two sides of the same coin.
Some are so afraid of appetite that they try to deny it, while others take food prophylactically so as not to be in the unbearable position of overcoming the need for food. Modern culture, advertising, media, the food industry only multiply desires and needs — and we are forced to either deny them or satisfy them at the same second.
I grew up in a family with a twisted idea of healthy eating. We never had normal food in our house — soup, second courses — only snacks and convenience foods. Mother hid sweets under her pillow and ate them in the middle of the night when no one was looking. Three times a year I went on the Mayo diet (a diet high in fat and low in carbohydrates). I lived with the feeling that the diet gave adults a sense of superiority over children. And in order to grow up, you need to sit on it — and, it seems, not get off for the rest of your life. I was a compulsive eater for a long time, constantly dieting. And I am very happy that I was able to change my eating behavior: after all, all this spoils life very much.
What is my weight now? I don’t know. She last weighed herself when she gave birth to her youngest daughter, Lianna. This was in 1988.