How to Know You’re in a Mature Relationship

Having ridden a lot of emotional swings, playing games like “catch me if you can”, “guess what I mean” and “the best sex is after a fight”, many come to the conclusion that they would like something otherwise – relations with an adult (ideally, it would be nice to grow up yourself).

But first, it is important to understand how such a union should look like. Here are a few key signs of a mature, healthy relationship.

1. Your love is not like an obsession.

In a mature relationship, there is a place for passion, but not for chaos and existence “on the edge.” This does not mean that in such unions people do not quarrel – it happens to everyone. But mature partners strive to solve the problem and move on, not remembering each other’s past and not asserting themselves at the expense of each other.

The key to this is emotional constancy. Thanks to him, people feel safe from the physical, moral and sexual points of view.

2. You don’t follow your exes on social media.

There is nothing wrong with one day giving in to curiosity and trying to find out what happened to your ex or ex. But if you are constantly thinking about how to renew the old relationship, then you are stepping on shaky ground.

One of the signs of mature love is that you don’t doubt your choice of partner, don’t look back and wonder, “what if…”

3. You are not in fusion with a partner.

Simply because you are two different people, with your own friends and hobbies. You don’t check someone else’s phone and torment yourself with suspicion when your loved one is not around. And you certainly don’t feel guilty about spending the weekend or Friday night with your buddies. You know that your partner is just glad that you have your own life outside of the relationship – and so are you.

4. You are not afraid of being abandoned.

Immature love goes hand in hand with doubts and uncertainty about the future: am I good enough, smart, attractive, successful enough for another? Does he/she really want to be with me? Will he/she call back? Will he leave me? In a mature couple, both people trust each other, which means they can relax and be themselves.

5. You respect each other

Mutual respect is the foundation on which mature relationships are built. It is expressed in the fact that you do not doubt the ability of another to solve problems, cope with stress, or, for example, raise children. And also – in the ability to admire at least something in a partner: his or her talents, leadership qualities or the ability to communicate with others.

6. Your condition does not depend on the mood of your partner

It is normal to be sad when your partner is feeling down and strive to support him. And it’s okay to be happy with him too. But in a mature relationship, you don’t have to tiptoe when your loved one is in a bad mood, and listen with tension to the sound of his or her steps – in what mood is he (a) returning home today?

7. You plan the future together

You are not just discussing common goals and plans – where to live, having children or not – but also moving in the intended direction. At least in small steps.

8. Conflicts are not a threat to your relationship.

Fighting with each other, you do not think about how to “stop it all.” Neither of you looks at the door, points it out to the other, or threatens to leave. Yes, during a showdown, you may experience anxiety, but at the same time you know that globally you are on the same side, at the same time. And that, despite all the differences, there is love between you, which keeps you together.