In addition to the real age recorded in the passport, there is also a subjective age – how old we feel. They do not always coincide; on the contrary, the difference is often quite noticeable. In fact, feeling old or young is not a matter of age at all.
“At 10, I felt like an adult. Now, approaching 72, I feel 40 years old or even less. Sometimes even younger than her own daughter – and she is 38, Maya shares. – Inside I feel young, I love music and dancing, I love to learn something new.
And when I look at my grandchildren, I remember that I am a grandmother and that my years are also coming. But every morning I wake up knowing that today I will do what I like.”
Alexandra echoes her: “At 44, I had very big changes in my life: I quit my job, was disappointed in many ways, but then got back into the game with the enthusiasm of a 20-year-old girl.”
But Lisa asks a different question: “I’m 25, I’m young and pretty, but I feel like a decrepit old woman. Why?..”
Feeling young or old is not a matter of age
The difference between the age indicated in the passport and the one we feel we are is often quite significant.
“There is nothing strange about this: our subconscious mind ignores time,” says Christian Gelson, professor of psychology at the University of Angers, author of A Little Psychology of Age, which analyzes our relationship with time in a society of so-called “young old people.”
“Psychological age almost never keeps pace with biological age. Feeling young or old is not a matter of age. Children’s complexes and desires live in us all our lives.
We adults have to deal with that playful, curious, adventurous child that lives in us.”
For to calculate your subjective ageanswer the following questions.
1. It seems to me deep down that I am (…) years old.
2. Looking at my body, I give myself (…) years.
3. I have had the same interests for (…) years.
4. In general, I do most things as if I were (…) years old.
Now add up the results and the resulting divide the sum by 4.
The older – the younger
American researcher Robert Kastenbaum devised a scale to determine the “subjective age” which takes into account the four values: a sense of, physiology, personal interests and activities.
French researcher and marketing professor at the University of Paris-Dauphine, Denis Gue, in turn, has adjusted a method based on this scale that is able to calculate our real internal age.
“Teenagers love themselves” old “to obtain greater autonomy and freedom, and that they are often taken seriously. “Young adults” aged from 22 to 34 years feel an average of 1,2 years younger.
And starting at thirty-five, the gap widens: we feel much, much younger. It turns out that the older you are, the younger.
The older we get, the more unrealistic our own age seems.
60-year-olds, whom Gue calls “senior hedonists,” are ready for new discoveries, constantly mastering new activities and thus “rejuvenating” by 30 years.
“The older we get, the more unrealistic our own age seems. For a child, a year is an eternity. For adolescents, time passes too slowly because they want to quickly achieve the independence that maturity guarantees.
For adults, time flies at an incredible speed. But an elderly person thinks that instead of the real 50-60 years of his life, only 25-30 years have passed.
Love is the antidote to age
There are people who, at the age of 40, “dry the oars” and think like this: “I have already lived my life, now it’s my children’s turn.” Their complete opposite is pensioners who again enter universities and discover their desires and hobbies. What factors influence our psychological age?
“Love – the best antidote against intrinsic aging” – said Dario Lupo, a psychologist from Milan, an expert on the problems associated with the aging process. Another vital factor – self-esteem. “The stronger it is, the more subject to our real age.
It also affects our economic viability, above all, our inclusion in the social context. This creates a feeling of being loved and needed.
Emotional shock, in turn, provokes an almost automatic increase in subjective age. Being fired at the end of a career or the death of a loved one can age us in a matter of hours.”
Being fired at the end of a career or the death of a loved one can age us in a matter of hours.
However, those who continue to plan and imagine the future still feel young even after the negative experience.
Whom to listen to? A ticking clock or an inner child who calls us to live as if we have an eternity ahead of us? Everyone makes a choice.