Contents
- 1. He is sure: you are either with him or against him.
- 2. He knows how to charm, but if there are disagreements between you, you will not be good.
- 3. He never admits he’s wrong
- 4. He owns your ideas
- 5. He asks for favors but gives nothing in return.
- 6. He is not capable of empathy and is cruel in his statements.
- HOW TO BE?
We’ve all been forced to work with a less than pleasant boss at least once in our lives, but a narcissistic boss is something special. Such a person – and he can be both a man and a woman, we will use the masculine gender further only for convenience – is capable of thoroughly poisoning life and striking a blow to self-esteem. How to recognize him or her?
Today, the word “narcissist” has become a label that is awarded to everyone in a row, and you need to understand that if you just can’t get along with your boss, this is not a reason to write him down in this category.
According to Marie-Line Germain, author of Narcissism at Work: Personality Disorders in Corporate Leaders, “A person with pronounced narcissistic traits always behaves as if he is the center of the world, and this negatively affects both employee morale and corporate performance. culture, and the company as a whole.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder include:
- feeling of grandeur and exceptional importance,
- fantasies of one’s own superiority and perfection,
- sense of one’s own uniqueness
- acute need for attention and praise,
- desire to exploit others.
Of course, only a doctor can make a real diagnosis, but it is useful to know the signs that indicate that the boss may be a narcissist.
1. He is sure: you are either with him or against him.
The narcissist boss thinks in absolute terms: you are either a friend or an enemy, there is no middle ground. “If such a leader decides that you have “crossed over to the camp of the enemy”, beware: he will do everything to “destroy” you, including trying to fire you, ”explains the author of the book.
2. He knows how to charm, but if there are disagreements between you, you will not be good.
At first, such a leader seems very charismatic, he can exalt you in every possible way, making you feel exceptional. But if you suddenly point out a mistake to him or question his authority, he will not tolerate this, and your reputation and career will be at stake.
3. He never admits he’s wrong
The narcissistic boss is categorically unable to endure criticism and will never admit that he was wrong. “He is perfect – so what kind of mistakes can we talk about? reminds the psychologist. “He’s more likely to blame everything on his subordinates, including you, or say that he was slandered or that the opponent has problems in the head.”
4. He owns your ideas
Such a person needs to feed his fragile ego and the illusion of his own perfection in every possible way, so that he does not hesitate to pass off the best ideas of his subordinates as his own. “The question of morality is not even worth it: he leads, you obey, which means that the fruits of your labors are also his merit.”
5. He asks for favors but gives nothing in return.
You are just a subordinate, so the narcissistic boss thinks that he does not owe you anything, but he can ask you for anything. And just try to refuse him.
6. He is not capable of empathy and is cruel in his statements.
If you are late, or make a mistake, or do not turn in a project on time, even for the most good reason, do not expect sympathy and understanding – they will not be. The head-narcissist is simply not capable of them. And, most likely, at the slightest mistake, you will hear the most derogatory remarks addressed to you. Such a person will question the level of intelligence, the ability to self-organize, a sense of style …
HOW TO BE?
What to do if you recognize a narcissist in your boss, but are not ready to change jobs? Here are some strategies.
1. Document what is happening. Save screenshots of all messages, especially those containing insults and accusations, this may come in handy one day.
2. If possible, do not discuss important issues in private. Alternatively, you can put colleagues in a hidden copy of your correspondence. The more witnesses, the better – otherwise, during an open clash, the narcissist boss will definitely get out.
3. Do not trust criticism from such a boss and enlist support. Narcissistic leaders have such power over employees precisely because they know how to make the latter doubt their own adequacy and competence. You need a person who will always support you, “bring you to your senses” after the next conversation with the boss and help you to “check with reality”.
4. Strengthen relationships with other colleagues. The narcissist boss strives to be the center of your professional world: at some point, you may believe that your future career depends on him. Don’t allow it. Communicate with other employees, build relationships with other professionals in your industry.
And, of course, if there is such an opportunity, leave before your professional self-esteem has suffered completely. It may seem to you that next to such a “difficult” person you somehow grow, but this is not so: such cooperation only limits your possibilities.