Jean Ledloff, a physician and journalist, spent two and a half years deep in the jungles of Latin America with the Yekuana Indians. Why with this tribe? Because they really know the secret of human happiness. It is so unbelievable that at first it is hard to believe. But the Yekuana tribe, nevertheless, exists perfectly, the Indians live happily, in joy and smiles, and bring up the same calm, cheerful and self-sufficient, happy children. Jean Ledloff wrote a book about it that became a bestseller in many countries around the world. This is a chapter from Jean Ledloff’s book. How to raise a happy child.
American children are probably more protected by protective devices than any other child in the history of mankind, and therefore the least expected of them is the ability to take care of themselves.
It is very appropriate here to cite the story of one family that I heard. Parents were very worried that the pool in the courtyard of the house was a danger to their little child. It was not about the fact that the water in the pool could suddenly rise and carry the baby with it, but rather that the child could fall or throw himself into the pool. They built a fence around the pool and always kept the gate locked.
It is quite possible that with the help of the parents’ explanations, the child, without thinking about it at all, learned very well the meaning of the fence and the locked gate. He understood so well what was expected of him that, once finding the gate open, he entered it, fell into the pool and drowned.
When I heard this story, which was told to me in order to demonstrate the need to constantly protect children from their inherent ability to harm themselves, I could not help but think of that pit in the village of Vananya, next to which children played all day long without any supervision and at the same time remained whole and unharmed. These two separate cases, of course, do not mean much, but they well reflect the differences between the two cultures. Yekuan children find themselves in a huge number of potentially dangerous situations. One of the most impressive dangers is the ubiquitous presence of sharp machetes and knives that can be stepped on, dropped, and played with freely. The little ones, still not knowing anything about handles, took knives by the blades and, in front of me, waved them, clenching them in their plump fists. They not only did not hurt their own fingers and did not cause the slightest harm to themselves, but if they were in the hands of the mother, they managed not to hurt her either.
In the same way, children playing with firebrands, stumbling and falling with them, climbing over the threshold of a thirty-centimeter-high hut, never touched themselves, or the hanging dry palm leaves covering the roof, or their own or someone else’s hair with hot coal. Children, like puppies, played near the hearth without the intervention of adults who respected them.
The boys, starting at about a year and a half, were trained in archery with sharp arrows; however, some enthusiasts carried a bow with them almost always when they were on their feet. Archery was not limited to any designated areas; besides, there were no «safety rules». In the two and a half years I spent with the Yekuan, I witnessed only one arrow wound, which I mentioned above.
In addition, the dangers of the jungle await the child, in the vast untrodden expanses of which it is easy to get lost and where you can easily injure your bare feet and naked body when walking. Not to mention more obvious dangers like snakes, scorpions and jaguars.
And in rivers, strong currents are even more dangerous than anacondas and crocodiles, and a child who swam further than his strength and ability allow, with a high degree of probability, can break on rocks or numerous underwater snags. The depth and speed of the familiar part of the river varies from day to day depending on the amount of rain that has fallen upstream, so knowing the dangers today may not help tomorrow. Children who bathe and play daily in the river must accurately assess their strength under any circumstances.
Most likely, the child’s confidence in his abilities depends on the responsibility assigned to him. The ability to take care of oneself in most Western children is only partially used, and most of the care is taken over by the parents. With its inherent aversion to excess, the continuum eliminates just as many self-preservation mechanisms as others have taken on. As a result, effectiveness is reduced, since no one but the child himself can constantly and carefully be on guard of all the circumstances around him.
The less responsibility for the safety of the child will be assumed by the mother in our society, the faster and more fully the child will become independent. He himself will understand when he needs help or support. It is the child who should be the initiator of communication. Of course, this is not about depriving the baby of the opportunity to resort to the help of the mother, but she should offer a minimum of guidance and intervention.
An overprotective, dependent child becomes when his initiative is constantly intercepted by an excessively caring mother, and not when the baby was held in her arms in the first months of his life, which was especially important to him.
One of my self-development girls works as a governess. She works out a very interesting mini-training that solves her tasks and the tasks of her pupil. They act out the situation that, as if the baby was lost (in the shopping center), the baby approaches the man and asks him to call her nanny and explain where she is and how to find her. The nanny is nearby and watches all this))) The man calls and …. happens to be a lot of fun. He admires both the baby and her nanny, who trains and develops her pupil. (Here is such a chic self-promotion, as an excellent incredible mother for her children, capable of raising a Personality. Which of the men refuses to become the fathers of Personalities?).
The baby is getting braver and showing miracles of creativity every day more and more. Young lady is going through her first acting training! Courage was gained more not by a young lady for this experiment, but by a lady who is a little older)))
But it is very effective to encourage a young lady on beautiful adventures. The child is ready to train 24 hours a day))) And then it is so joyful to watch her skills! It is a joy to watch her beautiful (simply high society, practiced in front of a mirror) communication with those whom she appointed as her assistants in resolving her problems!
At first, the governess chose the candidates herself and invited her pupil to contact them. Now they are working on how to choose the right (intelligent, sympathetic, ready to help man) candidate for the little one herself. The baby develops such observational abilities))), psychologists can rest!