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According to the latest research, we look at the smartphone screen for almost 7 hours a day. So it makes no sense to protect children from gadgets — they will still encounter them in adulthood. It is much more important to teach them to build healthy relationships with smartphones and computers. We tell you how to do it.
How to understand if a child is addicted to the phone or not?
Experts distinguish two types of addiction to smartphones:
nomophobia — panic due to lack of access to the phone,
Phubbing is the habit of being distracted by the phone while talking.
If a child is on the phone, this does not mean that he has an addiction. In anxious situations, such as due to a fight or being in a place where he is uncomfortable, he can go headlong into the gadget, because it seems to be a calm and safe territory.
But with addiction or a tendency to it, the child forgets about his duties, begins to sleep and eat poorly, is late everywhere and cannot concentrate on anything. Another wake-up call is closure. If your son or daughter prefers the phone to playing with friends, then this is an occasion to think about his relationship with gadgets.
Why not just ban?
How to wean a child from a smartphone? The most common advice is to set a good example. However, this is difficult to do when we ourselves are constantly waiting for messages in social networks and work chats. Another option is to protect him from using gadgets. At all. But because of this, a teenager may develop another addiction in the future — alcohol or nicotine.
The fact is that dependencies do not appear just like that. There are two reasons for their formation:
Malfunction of the limbic system. This system is responsible for emotions, will, motivation and communication. And when something goes wrong, the child prefers to stay at home and communicate with the world through the gadget, rather than in person.
Problems in the frontal lobes. They are responsible for the ability to act according to the rules, control their impulses and plan something. The inability to take your eyes off the phone and get down to business signals that the frontal lobes of a person do not inhibit his desire to play and do not allow him to make a plan of action.
And if the child does not form a dependence on the gadget, then another one may form — to what will be available to him. Simply because he is prone to addictions.
What to do if the child is prone to addiction to gadgets?
1. Find him something to do
If the parent iPhone has a lot of games and cartoons and all this wealth is available on demand, then a child from a young age gets used to the fact that a smartphone is a cure for boredom. The more activities he has, the more relaxed he will be with gadgets. Drawing, reading, music, board games, rollerblading or hockey — anything will do.
2. Come up with rituals
You should not tear the tablet out of the hands of the child and scold him for sitting on it all the time. This will make him even more nervous. The end of the game with the gadget should always be associated with something pleasant. We watched a cartoon and did a fun exercise for the eyes. We played a game — we danced together and had fun.
3. Designate no-smartphone zones
Discuss with your child places where the phone is not allowed. For example, at the table, in bed before going to bed, or visiting grandma. It is especially important to limit smartphone use in the bedroom.
The blue color of the screen causes alertness and stops the production of melatonin, the hormone that is responsible for falling asleep. And the night mode does not change anything, as it only slightly reduces the brightness. Therefore, two to three hours before bedtime, the phone must be removed. In addition, some especially emotional children cannot calm down for a long time — because of a violent fantasy activated by a book they have just read or a game they have completed.
4. Do not criticize the interests of the child
Find out exactly what he’s up to. What games does he play? What social media does he watch? Who is the most popular tiktoker right now? What is the latest challenge about? If a child builds a hotel in Minecraft, tell him how real hotels work, enroll in programming and game design courses — there are such in the online school . If you shoot dance challenges, show how you can dance the macarena.
Do not call stupidity what your child likes, even if it seems so to you. When you are sincerely interested in what interests him, he feels your support.
5. Let your child feel successful.
Getting likes on social networks or achievements in games, we also get a dose of dopamine, the reward hormone. It is very difficult not to get hung up on such an affordable way, because usually you have to work hard to feel the feeling of “I did a good job!”. For example, run a marathon or get an A in a quarter.
But if in real life we let the child experience success, then dopamine from gadgets will become less attractive for him. Guide your child, try different activities, circles, olympiads and competitions. And be sure to praise him even for the smallest victories.