Feelings at any age are serious. And you need to treat them with respect.
– Mom! “My five-year-old man is snuggled up beside me. – We have two beautiful girls in the kindergarten: Varya and Sasha. I just can’t choose which one of them to marry. Oh, and there is also Ulyana …
While young Don Juan is making a choice, I think about how to respond correctly to such confessions. Ignore? To joke? Take it seriously? Competent help is indispensable here.
– In babies, the psyche and hormonal processes are not sharpened to the opposite sex as in adolescents. But even in kindergarten, the feelings are real. But so far they are very fabulous: we will certainly get married. Don’t ruin this tale. But don’t be surprised if the character in it changes. And help make up after a fight.
In general, feelings at any age require careful treatment. Of course, you are not required to read out paragraphs from a sex encyclopedia to a crumb. But by communicating freely with your preschool child on this topic, you will almost certainly lay the foundation for a trusting relationship with your teenager in the future. And there is a great chance that with the story of “great” love, he or she will come to you. Only here everything will be a little more complicated.
Alexandra is sixteen. Almost seventeen. And Alexandra suffers. She has a love triangle. She is in love. But the object of her sympathy does not pay any attention to her. But another boy is in love with Alexandra herself. He’s just great, but … not the same.
It is clear that the first feeling overshadows everything in the world. I want romance, and not at all until the upcoming USE. But here’s how to make it so that the child entrusts these feelings to you, and even listens to your opinion?
– Teenagers experience falling in love with special drama, multiplying all experiences by two. By the strength of the experience, these feelings have an unconditional priority over any others. It’s really a matter of life and death, like Shakespeare. Your child is now experiencing a mixture of excitement and embarrassment. Do not embarrass, do not mock. Respect the confession. Tell me that being in love is wonderful. This is part of life, and wonderful! But it doesn’t cancel out lessons and relationship difficulties. Help calm the senses. You need to sound a delicate alarm if your child has become obsessed in a couple of days. In other cases, just be there and support. What if your help is needed? Invite to visit or give money to go to the cinema? But it is not necessary to climb every day with questions. After all, you are locking your bedroom door.
Think back to yourself at 15-16. The dream boy is the best and only one in the whole wide world. And who does not understand this – fools, blind people and get out of my room!
– This, of course, will pass, the only question is how soon. And then the girl has the eyes of a wounded gazelle, – Sasha’s mother is worried now.
We remember ourselves again. Mothers told us that we will have more of these? Did we listen to them? No? That’s the same. Let’s not repeat the mistakes of others. If a teen has opened up to you, be delicate. And here the sexual encyclopedia will also be out of place. They know about physiology even without you, they will also teach you a lesson. Of course, you can recall that no one canceled contraception, but also gently, with a grain of humor. They are already embarrassed, and here you are with such topics.
What teenagers don’t know yet is that at the core of… um… close contacts of the third degree must be based on unconditional trust. And it is imperative to talk about this with them.
– Do not destroy ideals: they will not believe you that the beautiful Vasya is a fool. But you need to help the child to face reality. Be moderately critical. It is best to question Vasya’s impeccability with humor. But, again, don’t scoff.
First love is like a roller coaster. Now up, then sharply down, to dizziness. Only yesterday it seemed: together until the last breath. And already today – tears are choking and it hurts to breathe from resentment. And here the task of the parents is not to pick this wound with their fingers: “And we told you!”, Not to brush it off: “Oh, yes, you will still have a million of such Vasya. Have you done your homework? ” And to support and help to survive this stage as one of the inevitable ones.
– The general emotional background is important. A happy teenager can handle a breakup more easily. An anxious person may have a nervous breakdown. Support him, say that personal happiness is still in his hands, and not the girl / boy who left you. Tell about yourself. About sorrows and joys. About how three hundred times they wrote in their personal diary “Dima, I love you.” And as Dima scribbled in your front door “Smirnova is a fool.” Do not hide either joy or defeat. A lively, real parent is better and closer to the ideal and flawless.