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Depression is one of the most common forms of mental health disorder, with an estimated 5% of the world’s population living with it. During the pandemic, the situation worsened: more and more people began to notice symptoms of clinical depression and anxiety. Along with medical care, the support of loved ones is also important for them. How to learn to provide it?
Despite the fact that depression can develop at absolutely any age – and even in children, most often for the first time it manifests itself between the ages of 20 and 30 years. Her debut can seriously frighten a person, especially if he has not encountered such conditions before. And the support of the environment is an important component of his recovery. What can be done to help a relative, friend or partner?
1. Learn about clinical depression
On the Internet, as well as in magazine articles and books, you can easily find descriptions of the symptoms, causes, and treatments for depression. This will help you understand that the loved one is not “just sad” but that he or she is going through a serious mental illness.
“Clinical depression has a number of clear signs, and it has a huge impact on how a person perceives himself and the surrounding reality, behaves and interacts with others,” explains psychotherapist Megan Watson.
Sadness is just one of the symptoms of depression: it can also manifest itself in increased fatigue, a feeling of stalemate and hopelessness, sleep problems, loss of appetite, loss of interest in things that used to please, suicidal thoughts, and even physical manifestations – for example, a person with depression may pursue headaches. At the same time, you need to understand that each case is individual.
2. Listen carefully and choose your words carefully
As a rule, a person with depression feels very lonely, and having people around who are ready to listen to him can bring relief. To do this, you do not need any special skills – just listen, do not interrupt, do not judge, and certainly not give advice.
“Recognize for a loved one his right to feelings, make it clear that all his emotions are important,” advises Watson. “Help him open up and feel safe.”
If this is your first time experiencing something like this, it’s normal to feel insecure and not know what to say. The main thing is to try to avoid “toxic positivity” and phrases like “hold on”, “everything will be fine”, “it’s not that bad” and “you have a great life.” Such words devalue the feelings of the person with the disorder.
Much more important is to let him know that he is not alone in his experience, that this happens to others too, and at the same time recognize the uniqueness of his experience. Show your loved one that you are on his side and will work with him to find a solution to the problem.
3. Offer help and be there
If you notice that a loved one with depression has begun to isolate and withdraw into himself, try to gently and unobtrusively involve him in communication: for example, invite him for a walk or a cup of coffee.
Of course, he or she can refuse: a depressive episode is draining, both mentally and physically. In this case, try to at least visit a loved one, come home (it is not necessary to talk at the same time – the main thing is just to be there) and offer all possible help.
Now, the need to take care of his mental health has been added to his routine and, possibly, visit a specialist, and household chores have not gone away, so you can try to take on some of them yourself: for example, pick up children from school or go shopping.
4. Soberly assess your capabilities
Experts agree that it is not necessary to sacrifice your interests and throw all your strength into saving your loved one – do what you can, to the extent that you can. Be connected, listen, support, but remember that all this is not a substitute for professional help.
If the loved one has not yet been to a psychologist or psychiatrist and is not undergoing treatment, try to gently explain the need for these steps. You can even help find a specialist and (or) go with him to the first appointment.
5. Start practicing today
Taking into account the statistics, it is safe to say that each of us at least once in our lives either experiences a depressive episode ourselves or encounters it with someone close to us. Therefore, it would be a good idea to prepare for this “meeting” in advance: read about this condition, its symptoms and treatment, talk about it with others in order to break stigma, learn to actively listen and support relatives and friends.
This will at least strengthen your ties with others, and as a maximum, it will help you not to get confused when faced with one of the main ailments of the XNUMXst century.