A teenager has to decide where to go, go to high school or college, decide now or make a choice later. To help him, remember: what did you want to be as a child and what do you work now? Have you ever changed your mind or regretted what you did? Put yourself in the place of the child and you will be able to understand him.
As a child, I alternately dreamed of becoming a doctor, a lawyer, and a holiday organizer. As a result, she entered the university as a marketer and worked in advertising for several years. I made a conscious choice at the age of 32: I wrote a letter of resignation after maternity leave, received a second education. I became a psychologist and now I am doing what I love, in the conditions that I create for myself.
Could I shorten this path? Probably not. There were many doubts, fears and insecurities. It is believed that it is more difficult for an adult to change his life, to lose stability, to accept uncertainty. But, believe me, it is much more difficult for teenagers who make such a choice for the first time.
One way or another, we can all encounter limiting attitudes. For example, with the stereotype that you need to choose one profession for life and develop in it. If you believe in this, making such a fateful decision is really scary. And sometimes they get a diploma for the sake of a diploma.
How many of your classmates and classmates work in the chosen specialty? Probably not. In order for a teenager to be able to defend his own choice without fear, he must be taught this from childhood.
7 steps to learn to make choices
1. Let’s have a choice. Start small. Ask questions: “What do you want for breakfast? What hat will you wear? Where shall we go? What will you do? What will you watch, read, what will you play? The child should be able to independently choose a circle or sports section, based on their interests.
2. Respect the choice of the child. If it’s not about the child’s safety, accept his choice and trust him. When parents say that the child does not want anything, most often this is not a matter of career guidance, but of parent-child relationships in general. The child is not specifically interested in what the parents think is right and interesting.
The child and adolescent should be able to refuse their choice or even not to choose at all. To understand yourself, your desires and needs, you need to explore and try as much as possible. If a child went to dances, then wanted to go to boxing, and then to the art section, this is normal. He is looking for himself.
You don’t need to immediately turn it into the only possible choice or plan a future profession based on passion. It is normal if a teenager wants to change the university after the 1st year, and not study for the sake of parental approval. Someone decides not to go to high school, but to go to college and then to the university. Some take a year after school to get to know themselves better. This is also normal.
In this situation, it is important not to forget about the division of responsibility, especially if the long search for oneself occurs only at the expense of the parents. You can read more about this in the book Your Restless Teen by Robert Bayard.
3. Let your child face the consequences of his choices. Then, in the end, he will form an idea about himself, his desires and capabilities.
4. Ask questions. Ask your child to remember situations in life when he was interested in what he was doing. When he liked everything and everything turned out. Ask him: “What did you do and why? What exactly did you like then? What did you feel? Who was next to you? What did you need at that moment? What challenges did you face and what helped you overcome them? The answers will help you navigate the vast world of possibilities.
5. Think about what you are broadcasting to your child. — with your life, deeds and words. Do you enjoy your work? What does the child hear in the family about your activities?
6. Remember that everything changes. Professions that are in demand now may become unnecessary in 5-10 years. Therefore, first of all, it is worth starting from the interests of a teenager.
7. Help your teen explore different options. He must have a complete understanding of the possibilities and limitations of the desired profession. And most importantly, believe in your child.