It often happens that you meet a successful man, and then he loses his job and does not try to look for a new one, or simply starts earning less. Or maybe your partner always brought pennies into the house, and you could barely make ends meet. In any case, it is worth asking yourself the question: is it about the partner? Psychologist Galina Tkachenko talks about how to set him up for financial success.
If a man has the potential and desire for development, helping him is quite a feasible task. All you need is to create a comfortable atmosphere for your partner. True, it is not so easy. This, of course, is not about timely dusting and a pot of borscht every day. If a man constantly sees resentment, anger and irritation on the face of his chosen one, no culinary delights and perfect order in the house will help him move forward.
The situation is complicated by the fact that the alignment of forces has changed. More than one generation of women has been working on a par with men. And the ability to create an atmosphere, which used to be easily and naturally instilled in one’s own family, today often has to be brought up in oneself. But this problem is solvable. What needs to be done for this?
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
The first and most important thing for a woman is to take care of herself. Throwing tantrums for no reason, finding hidden meaning in the words and actions of a partner, provoking him into conflicts, it is impossible to become a motivator for him.
The basis for its development is a healthy relationship with a partner, and only self-sufficient and self-confident people can build them. So start with yourself:
1. Find something to do. Work or hobby, the main thing is to feel your need not only at home, but also outside it.
2. Communicate with other people, be interested topics that go beyond “what to cook for dinner tonight”. This redirects energy in a positive direction and reduces the intensity of passions in a relationship.
3. Develop femininity and sexuality. The right attitude is important here: we are not doing this for a particular man or men in general, in order to find a partner and ensure a prosperous life for ourselves. The development of sexuality and femininity is a way of knowing another facet of your personality, which allows you to fully feel the taste for life. Start with little things: spend a little more time on face and body care, sometimes change your usual outfits.
4. Track sharp corners that can be smoothed out. This is not easy, we are drawn into the usual rut, so conscious efforts are needed even in small things: to answer differently than usual, to meet a partner in the evening with a different facial expression.
But if every day consciously build new patterns into behavior, they will become a habit and will be given easily and naturally. Having replenished the supply of resources and internal forces, start sharing them with the outside world and with your partner, because the more you give, the more you get.
HELP OTHERS
Do charity work or make time to help others. The main thing is to do it sincerely, without selfish motives. If you often practice such help and care for others, it begins to bring joy and changes the atmosphere around.
BELIEVE IN A PARTNER
Even if we loudly approve the ideas of a loved one, but each time we mentally add: “Nothing will come of this,” this is exactly what happens. It is necessary to grow faith in a partner and live with the affirmation: «Whatever the past, the future is not tarnished, everything is possible and everything will work out in it.»
FORM A TANDEM
Work in tandem. Start conversations about family finances in a calm state and translate your feelings from reproaches into “I-messages”. Keep the conversation constructive. Men tend to generate new ideas and set ambitious goals. Help break them down into subgoals and specific actions, it can be easier for a woman to do this.
Everything that happens around us reflects our actions and thoughts. Whether a partner advances to the financial big leagues or stays on the bench is also up to you.