Do you often give advice about relationships, work, health? Do you think you are a good adviser? Let’s figure it out.
We all talk from time to time with other people who have faced the same problems as us, seek advice from experts and «collective intelligence» before making important decisions. Advice is valuable when given in the right way. Many articles have been written about this, but most overlook a key element of the art of counseling.
Missing element
Usually it happens like this: not knowing what to do, a person seeks advice. He receives it, thinks it over, puts it into practice and gets the result. But then communication breaks down. The one who received advice almost never gives feedback: he does not tell how it all ended, what turned out to be useful in the advice and what was harmful. This exchange of information is rare, but it is important: it allows advisers to understand the consequences of actions and improve intuition.
How to learn to give advice?
To understand how important feedback is, let’s look at an example. Imagine that you are an emergency doctor, providing first aid to a patient and you don’t see him anymore. Has he recovered? Did your intervention help? Have you harmed him? Without knowing the answers to these questions, the next time you experience similar symptoms, you will act in exactly the same way, even if your actions were wrong.
Physicians need to know what happened to patients after their intervention. Information about a successful recovery motivates, and a negative result forces doctors to reconsider their treatment and care strategies.
Unfortunately, an effective system for obtaining feedback from patients has not yet been created. Even after the end of outpatient or inpatient treatment, it is not easy to follow the dynamics. Most do not have the time and desire to once again go to the doctor. Unless a potential discount on medical services can force them to fill out questionnaires about well-being.
Do not forget to give feedback to those who advised you something
Of course, when people turn to us for advice, as a rule, we are not talking about life and death, but here, too, the exchange of impressions is no less important. You can half-jokingly agree to take a deposit from those who seek advice, and return it only after receiving feedback.
Many consider themselves good advisers, but it is time to find out if this is so. Do not forget to give feedback to those who have advised something. Perhaps this will keep them from giving the same advice to everyone in a row.