Contents
He still considers you the closest person, but he treats you like a friend, sister, mother of his children, but not as a mistress. Why this happens and how a woman can influence the situation, psychotherapist Veronika Stepanova reflects.
Sexual life is a reflection of our relationships. You need to understand what happens in the communication of partners outside the bedroom.
1. He lost interest in sex.
He has long been captivated only by a sofa, beer and TV, due to age and lifestyle, his hormonal background has changed. He has gained weight and avoids not only love relationships, but also any bright emotional manifestations of life.
What to do? Such behavior often turns out to be an attempt to “seize” fear and anxiety, to compensate for the lack of warmth, love, and attention with the help of alcohol and food. Is this enough in a relationship with you, or does he have to artificially make up for the lack of love and warmth?
2. He got a mistress
Although divorce is not included in his plans and you are still dear to him, he has lost interest in sex with you.
What to do? Now it is worth paying attention not to your husband, but to yourself. Do not go into surveillance and comparisons with a rival, but, on the contrary, find the strength to let go of the situation. Neither confidential conversations, nor scandals will help. Engage in a career, self-development and appearance, get new interesting acquaintances.
To cope with the situation, you need to break away from it and feel interesting and attractive to others and yourself. This can return the partner’s interest. However, if by then you do not need it, then by improving yourself, you will only win.
3. He has health problems
In a world that rewards us with stress and relieves us of constant physical exertion, even young men face the problem of impotence. In addition, sexual performance is affected by the emotional state of the partner.
What to do? Don’t be afraid to raise a sensitive issue. Let him know that, no matter what, he is dear to you, you understand him and are ready to help. Perhaps you should take the initiative to arrange a visit to a specialist yourself.
4. You stopped taking care of yourself.
This can happen after the birth of a child, when all attention is given to a new family member, but is often accompanied by other reasons.
What to do? If you are a young mother, do not forget that a man still needs you. To begin with, reconsider your attitude to the help of loved ones, which previously could be neglected. Start involving your husband more in caring for the child. Make a plan for the day where you have time to take care of yourself.
True, you can give up on yourself without having children. From what internal problems can you close yourself with excess weight? Sometimes a woman gains it, avoiding intimacy with a partner. These elusive motives are revealed in therapy.
5. He earns less
He is so crushed by your success that he ceases to feel like a man.
What to do? Ask yourself the question – why did I choose such a partner? Sometimes a woman deliberately enters into a relationship with someone who is inferior to her in terms of education or social ambitions. She may be afraid of a man who is set up for achievement and inner growth, more self-confident. If a breakup happens, it can bring pain and disappointment, and a woman lowers the bar of expectations.
When next to a partner you only raise your self-esteem, you are doomed to live under the guise of an imitation of a relationship. But if he is dear to you, you need to find a new balance: perhaps it is worth abandoning the desire for dominance and redefining the roles in order to remain a man and a woman for each other.
About the Developer
Veronika Stepanova, psychotherapist. Her .