Contents
What is stopping you from earning as much as you want, or spending money wisely on what you really need? Perhaps the reason is the attitudes that you learned as a child? Or is it that your “inner child” is at the helm of your finances? Or maybe you’re just not ready to take responsibility? Let’s try to figure it out.
“Grandmother and grandfather, blockade survivors, said that if there are crumbs on the table, then we live well. Mom received a salary, distributed debts, and then ran to the subway, where there were slot machines at that time, and lowered everything that was left to a penny. Is it necessary to say that the person who told this story receives several times less than the market level?
The director of a small chain of stores turned to a coach to figure out why profits are kept at a minimum level, although by all accounts they should be growing. At the same time, his salary directly depends on profit.
It turned out that when he was little, his grandmother owned all the family’s money, and mom and dad were «funny, drinking and walking.» When my grandmother gave money to my parents, they went on a drinking binge. The boy has formed an attitude that money is something good and desirable, but when it appears, at first, for a very short time, you feel good, and then — a complete collapse. It became clear that the leader unconsciously transfers the family history to the business — the money is not enough for a short time so that the “holiday” does not drag on.
Impulsive “I want” indicates that you are missing something important. Listen to yourself — what do you really need?
Coaches hear similar stories from clients quite often. We have collected recommendations that will help you get rid of the «poor man’s psychology». At the same time, we will immediately make a reservation that the poor man is not the one who does not have money, but the one who does not have enough money all the time. He either does not see how to earn them, or spends everything he gets. He lives in a state of constant scarcity, limits his mature true needs, but at the same time can easily satisfy the emotional impulses of the eccentric «inner child».
On the needs of true and impulsive
To distinguish real needs from false ones, you need to understand whose they are, who forms them. When the “inner adult” does this, he carefully examines himself and decides what quality of life he needs and how to provide it for himself. The entrepreneur expands the business, the employee plans to move to the next rung of the career ladder. «Adult» saves and saves, reduces spontaneous purchases or allocates a certain amount for them.
If the needs are formed by the “inner child”, then they arise unexpectedly and are difficult to manage. For the “inner child”, putting something off until later is not an easy task. Often it is he who goes shopping, and on the way to buy shoes he always meets jeans from the new collection, which are “really needed” and “not at all like those ten in the wardrobe.” And upon returning from the store, you have to borrow money from friends, because the shoes are still needed, but the entire amount went to jeans.
What to do?
Impulsive “I want”, whether it’s the 20th blouse or the 15th bag, indicates that you are missing something important. Listen to yourself — what do you really need? Maybe rest, care, relationships?
Don’t let your «inner child» decide what to buy and what not to buy. Ask the seller to postpone the item for a few hours, or rather spend the night thinking about buying. You may wake up and decide that you don’t need the last pair of «incredibly beautiful boots» in size 40, because your size is 38,5. At the same time, do not forget to sometimes pamper your “child” by giving an amount agreed with the “adult” for pocket expenses.
About the distorted attitude towards the rich
Our lives are ruled by the strongest (most emotionally charged) thoughts. If you sincerely and passionately complain that there is no money, there will be no more money. In our culture, the wealthy are viewed with suspicion at best and condemnation at worst. With such convictions, the task of replenishing the ranks of wealthy people will remain insurmountable. To have money, you need to treat those who have it well.
What to do?
Ask yourself: “How do I feel about rich people? What feelings do they make me feel? Do I think they earned it all by honest work? Inherited wealth? Stole?»
Through what «filters» do you perceive rich people? Perhaps it is high time to discard these filters and learn a lot from the successful and wealthy.
About the inability to live with money
Many grew up in families where there was little money and adults regularly said that they should save money and be more modest. As we grow up, we continue to deny ourselves many things.
The poor man would rather give up his true desires than look for where to find money to fulfill them. But saving on needs can be costly. If you have a short planning horizon and in this short term you manage small amounts, then there seems to be no better future. Even in your dreams you continue to make ends meet.
What to do?
Put in your wallet a significant amount for you and do not spend it. When you open your wallet, you will see: you have money, but this does not mean that they should be spent on something “urgently needed”. Gradually you will get used to this feeling of abundance: I can buy this and that, but I choose not to buy because I do not need it.
About fears and insufficient efforts
Have you done everything to ensure that you have enough funds? Maybe you just like to complain about the lack of money and get support? Or afraid to take risks? Or are you afraid of responsibility? It is important to deal with fears, find people who can help, ask for support, calculate the risks and take on the responsibility that you can afford.
Approach this issue as rationally as possible: analyze what you have now with money, how much comes in, how much is spent, how much goes to emotional impulsive desires and how much is not enough to satisfy true needs.
What to do?
Not sure how to secure the cash flow you need? Observe others, learn from the wealthier.
Think: why do you live in a world where there is no money specifically for you? Why don’t you have opportunities while others do? Maybe you lack some skills that can and should be “pumped up”? Perhaps you do or don’t do something to live with money in parallel worlds and cross paths less often?
When dreaming and planning, thinking about what you really want, try to look wider, beyond your usual perimeter. It is difficult, we are all more comfortable inside the comfort zone, but we hope that these small practices will be the first steps towards your financial success.