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Hello, dear readers of the site! Gelotophobia is an irrational, panicky fear of ridicule from those around you.
And today we will try to figure out why it occurs, as well as how it can be cured.
What is it like?
Gelotophobia may well be attributed to social phobia, that is, the fear of communicating with people in principle.
It is also somewhat similar to scopophobia, which is a disorder in which a person experiences panic when they are looked at.
In his fantasies, condemnation is necessarily hidden in his views. That other people simply cannot be interested in him, and notice only for the reason that they want to make fun of him.
In principle, almost every one of us is unpleasant ridicule, is not it? But not every one of us, at the slightest joke, begins to choke and clutch at the heart, lose consciousness.
Gelatophobes avoid the company of people, since the very idea that someone decides to have fun at their expense causes a panic attack.
They try to talk less so as not to accidentally say stupid things, dress flashy and, in general, attract any attention to their person. Therefore, there are practically no successful individuals who have achieved their goals among them.
Before doing anything, they carefully consider each step so that no one notices their mistake. Therefore, they perform the assigned tasks with a certain delay, which does not help advance in their careers.
There are times when the exact opposite happens. A person is so afraid of being ridiculed that he takes an attacking position.
That is, it becomes aggressive and in every possible way demonstrates its strength, invulnerability. He only does it at the expense of those who are unable to stand up for themselves and fight back.
As if, he seeks to be the first to ridicule his victim, so that no one even in his thoughts would allow himself such an idea, to mock his person.
Symptoms
Behavioral
Gelotophobe, as we found out, takes one of two positions, either aggressive or avoidant.
With an aggressive stance, he carefully watches people, as if preparing to rush into battle at any moment.
One has only to notice a victim for himself, as he immediately proceeds to bullying. Often, wanting to demonstrate that he is not afraid of other people’s ridicule, he walks with a smile.
That looks forced and unnatural. After all, it arises not because a person is sincerely happy, but because it is a shield, a mask behind which you can hide your feelings and vulnerability.
When the fob tends to be completely invisible, he looks dejected. The shoulders are lowered, the gaze is fixed on the floor, it seems that some kind of grief has happened to him and now nothing in the world can cheer him up.
Therefore, even a friendly smile of a passerby or a familiar person is perceived as a threat, starting to worry.
Thoughts about the future are devoid of optimism and perspective, he is sure of his social helplessness and, in some cases, «abnormality», comicality and absurdity.
This leads to social isolation, depression, chronic, incurable diseases, and in the future, if attempts are not made to cope with the disorder, degradation and even suicide.
The fear of ridicule forms the character of a person, because in addition to isolation or aggressiveness, he has signs of perfectionism.
This is the need to bring every business to perfection. Which, in principle, does not exist. Why is neurosis, exhaustion, insomnia added to all the negative consequences of a phobia.
Somatic
When a panic attack occurs, the fob dries up in the throat, he begins to stutter and sweat heavily. The gait is unsteady, because his hands are shaking from excitement and his legs “knead”, they feel tingling, numbness.
The heart is beating strongly, which can cause pain in the chest. Which suggest a possible heart attack.
Breathing is fast, which causes the level of oxygen in the blood to rise, which leads to the opposite effect — a feeling of suffocation.
Experts recommend in such cases to try to breathe into the palms, so that by inhaling the carbon dioxide emitted by us on exhalation, to normalize the amount of oxygen in the body. This method helps to calm down, regain control over your actions and body.
The head is spinning, up to the loss of consciousness. There are pains in the stomach, nausea on the background of experiences and even vomiting with diarrhea.
Gelatophobes appear as if petrified, as they have muscle tension, which leads to clamps and stiffness of movement.
After all, being frightened and thinking that now someone will definitely play a trick on him, they thereby “bring” the body to combat readiness. That is, run or fight back.
In medicine, there is a term «Pinocchio syndrome» that describes this condition. Pinocchio — because the person looks wooden.
Causes
Lack of sense of humor
It happens that a person is completely devoid of the ability to understand humor. Why does he perceive any harmless thing with hostility, thinking that he is being mocked. This, of course, hurts him, affecting his self-esteem and attitude towards life in general.
By the way, many experts are inclined to believe that humor is a sign of a healthy psyche.
Naturally, if it does not have a destructive function, as a way to show aggression towards another, humiliating or insulting him.
Psychological trauma
If in childhood the child was subjected to ridicule, and possibly bullying, then this may well provoke the development of a phobic disorder. This also applies to adolescence.
After all, then the psyche, in order to avoid re-experiencing unbearable pain, shame and other intense feelings, will use defense mechanisms beyond measure. In this case, they are not only beneficial, but also harmful.
And, unfortunately, much more harm. After all, they do not allow a person to realize his needs, he lives as if in a dome, which he himself created.
Education
The parenting style also affects the occurrence of gelotophobia. For example, when parents are excessively cruel with their baby, they show violence, both physical and emotional, in the form of depreciation, criticism, attempts to shame.
After all, who has not been a witness, and possibly a participant in scenes when, say, your mother says, behave yourself, otherwise others will laugh at you?
The difficulty is that the abuse of such phrases leads to the fact that the child either lives in total shame in later life about how he looks, how he moves, and so on. Or “falls out” into shamelessness, leading an immoral lifestyle.
Hyper-custody also negatively affects self-esteem and self-perception. The parent, with his love, seems to “strangle” the child, depriving him of the opportunity to gain his own experience, develop, and become independent.
This gives rise to insecurity, infantilism, a feeling of worthlessness, and subsequently a phobic disorder.
Heightened self-esteem
For individuals who have pathologies in their perception of themselves, it seems that all attention is focused only on their person.
That is, people have nothing else to talk about, except for him. Therefore, when appearing in society, a fob is firmly convinced that absolutely every person looks at him, thinks about him, and so on.
Features of personality
If a child did not feel safe in childhood, then the inability to relax leads not only to severe stress, but also provokes anxiety.
A person does not experience positive emotions, he is wary, as he expects a dirty trick. This gradually leads to the fact that he is completely immersed in the inner world, distancing himself from people. Whom he does not trust and whom he is afraid of.
Accordingly, his ability to build relationships of any nature is impaired. This cannot but attract attention, and, having heard unpleasant responses addressed to him, he only becomes convinced of the correctness of his conclusions.
Why closes in itself even more. Not noticing how many people who are friendly towards him exist.
Treatment
It is dangerous to engage in self-medication in this situation, therefore it is recommended to visit a specialist, at least to diagnose the presence or absence of a disorder.
The psychotherapist will help to find out the causes of the appearance of gelotophobia, as well as to discover ways that will increase self-esteem, look differently at the surrounding reality, change the types of reactions and behavior that interfere with the realization of life’s tasks and needs.
The most effective in the fight against phobias are cognitive behavioral therapy, gestalt and hypnosis along with psychoanalysis.
In principle, you can choose any direction that appeals to you, the main thing is to ask for help.
After all, if you just expect that everything will get better by itself and do not make any attempts to improve the quality of life and improve your health, there is a risk that the phobia will develop into a more difficult stage.
And then you have to spend even more effort and time to find inner harmony and peace.
The psychiatrist, if necessary, will prescribe medications that will relieve anxiety, help to improve sleep and mood. This will provide a holistic approach to recovery. That will accelerate the appearance of positive results.
Completion
And that’s all for today, dear readers! Finally, we recommend reading an article about decidophobia — the fear of making decisions and taking responsibility. Since this disorder has some similarities with gelotophobia.
Subscribe to the site, it inspires us to write new interesting articles! And also share in the comments what irrational fears you have and how you deal with them. Perhaps your experience will be useful to someone.
Take care of yourself, your loved ones, and, of course, be happy!
The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina