Recently, during consultations, I often hear from clients a very disappointed attitude towards sex. Say, and so they tried to improve it, and that way … no sense: the stars from the sky did not fall, and do not pour. And even wumbling did not add too many sensations. Wumbling is, of course, a very healthy activity, but pumped intimate muscles alone are not enough for vivid sensations.
For good sex, first of all, excitement is important and necessary, and the stronger it is, the more divine the sex.
Yes, arousal problems are more common in women. In any case, based on gender characteristics, women are less prone to spontaneous arousal, you need to work on it. And all men know this: a woman needs to be warmed up and turned on. But how to do it right? This is often a problem, just because so many people confuse the process of arousal with the process of stimulation.
Excitation is provoked by thoughts, and in connection with thoughts, some parts of the body begin to crave stimulation.
Men, on the other hand, often sin by trying to excite a woman by actively “pressing the buttons”, which at the first stage of “warming up” the partner still does not work in any way, blood has not yet rushed to them. The «buttons» need to be tuned, and by no means with the help of physical stimuli.
At the moments of the birth of relationships and first dates, these non-physical stimuli for a woman are more than enough. These are constant thoughts about the beloved and the upcoming meeting. And preparing for a date is bringing yourself into the most attractive look: nothing excites a woman so much as her own irresistibility. Also, the hot caressing glances of a loved one contribute well to this, launch certain images in a woman’s head. That is, not the hands immediately come into action, but first the views. And when a woman is finally beginning to undress, she, as a rule, is seriously warmed up and every touch to intimate places is desirable: it brings pleasure and movement towards relaxation.
But when partners live together, are accustomed to each other, how do sexual flirtations with a woman often begin? That’s right, from male readiness (that is, from some of his mood / excitement) and, right off the bat — from the best of intentions, the physical stimulation of a woman. Since a man himself is even more excited by touching women’s intimate places, he firmly believes that the same thing happens with a partner. What is the actual outcome for women? A huge number of women are trying to evade marital responsibilities. By the way, just like men, when they cease to be spontaneously excited by the flickering charms of their wife, they cease to involuntarily turn on the brain to the necessary fantasies, images … And then try to grab him by the intimate places, that is, not tuned in to stimulation, inviting for sex. Will he be strong?
This is how most women feel when they are trying to excite them by direct stimulation of the still dormant erogenous zones.
This causes only one rejection, and insecure women also have thoughts about their own frigidity.
The point is not frigidity, the point is that every girl needs to look after herself — what turns on the state of excitement in me? What atmosphere, what decor, what words, what smells, what fantasies?
Those who have been masturbating know well that first thoughts and images come that create the desired state, and then self-stimulation. Right off the bat, with self-stimulation, with «pushing buttons», no one starts to induce the desired state. Is that right, dear men? You know this well and are looking for your exciting images — magazines, sites are actively supplying them.
So women need it too — they should explain about them for their own benefit: study your ways of arousing! And it’s just as well for men themselves to understand this about them — women are not excited through stimulation (just like men), but are excited by the atmosphere! But what — it is individual for each.
Tell your girls, let them watch themselves, read erotic novels … and see what caused the blood to pulsate in intimate places … And then share …
Do you know who the perfect lovers are? These are the men who themselves were able to carefully observe and notice why women’s cheeks turn pink and breathing quickens … when, with what words, actions … And then they, my dears, could already be taken warm and brought to orgasm by direct stimulation.
Noticing, these men then very actively reproduce these stimuli for women. They know how to come up and hold unobtrusively along the hollow of the back … And go on with their business. Or whisper something like that… Yes, wise men drive women to excitement not by physical stimulation.
But alas… there are only a few wise ones, since the women themselves, just as often as their partners who are not experienced in female psychology, believe that they need purely physical incentives. And then, giving their body, they heroically endure diligent, but very premature and therefore little effective, and to be honest, unpleasant touches of a partner. And disappointedly at these moments they feel that instead of an increase in excitement, an increase in irritation is observed. Still would!
They didn’t start from there. Excitation is formed in the brain and voluptuously prepares for further action of the genitals. Not erogenous zones need to be pulled, but the brain should be tempted.
Therefore, we teach materiel: women are excited by words — it is her words, each woman has her own words that excite her, the situation — it is her situation (porches can excite someone, but not everyone), the images of herself — in what image she considers herself super- sexy, smells — those smells that accompanied her first strong arousal. Let him remember, let him watch himself. Well, you are not lazy, watch, study your lady and not only manually. Manually — this is later: it is also important, you also need to figure it out, but turn it on as the second step of your sexual art.
I draw your attention to the fact that most often a woman really needs a gap between the gray routine and sex: a woman needs a transition to some kind of erotic space, which, with its general appearance, the presence of some kind of fetishes, charges her.
Dear men, well, the image of her lying on the kitchen table among unfinished dumplings (or, even worse, passionately releasing herself in the toilet cubicle) does not charge a woman. And, if it charges, then the selected units for which this particular action was a fetish — for example, she was aroused for the first time on such a scene in a film.
Dear women, create such spaces for yourself. Determine the interior that excites you, objects, paintings, recreate it all in your bedrooms or your living rooms, if your excitement is connected precisely with passionate sex in the living room. By the way, it will not necessarily be too frivolous objects, it will be something that brings you to exciting memories … Once again I insist, be sure to look for your excitement chips, bring them to your loved ones, otherwise you will have to increase the percentage of those women who only imitate pleasure from sex, accusing in private conversations then of the ineptitude of their men. Who tried very hard to «heat the oven that was not turned on.» And then they turned out to be allegedly inept in the technique of stimulation, that is, in the very method of conducting sexual intercourse, which is very rarely true. Well, unless the man is really a chump. For the most part, men take care of women and try — however, unfortunately, in fact — they try to perform a very skillful sexual intercourse with alas … an unexcited woman. The result of this effort is clear.
But if a woman is well aroused and a man is in a normal-average physical and sexual form (and this is exactly the case for most lovers), then everything will always be in perfect order with them, even without any special technical tricks. Enough of the standard-patriarchal approach to stimulation.
The main thing to remember is that female arousal is created by a certain atmosphere and supported by the atmosphere, but the path to her orgasm goes through the preferred stimulation. The ideal lover is distinguished not by his physical technique (although this is not bad, but it is not in such a big deficit), but by the ability to understand / find out what images excite his woman and the ability to create and maintain these exciting images in her brain.