How to formulate a request to a psychologist

Almost all people are familiar with the state of inner unrest, uncertainty. Some people manage to cope with problems on their own, while others need qualified help.

Psychological literacy

Psychological literacy helps to accept your problem and build a strategy to solve it. This is a complex of knowledge, thanks to which a person begins to consciously treat himself and those around him.

Being in a state of psychological discomfort, the first thing to do is to try to describe your feelings and symptoms. Psychological literacy is exactly about this: the ability to identify a problem, then help yourself on your own or seek qualified help.

The first step in overcoming difficulties is the formulation of a psychological request. Specialists share two types of requests: working and non-working.

Non-working psychological queries

• Everything that is connected with the desire to control emotions belongs to the non-working ones. For example, to love yourself and become happy, unfortunately, will not be a competent request. The psychotherapist simply will not be able to work with such a task, since it is beyond his competence, and sometimes beyond the laws of reality.
• Also, the so-called “dead man’s requests” – the desire to stop experiencing feelings and emotions – are also non-working. For example, stop being sad or worried. The psychotherapist, with all the desire, will not be able to help in solving such a problem, because no one can turn off emotions.
• The next category of non-working queries is an attempt to understand the reason for this or that event in life. For example, why the husband decided to divorce or why the girlfriend betrayed. A specialist will definitely help you find where the problem “legs grow from,” but will it make it easier for you? As statistics show, understanding the cause of a sad event in life does not make a person happy.
• And the last category of non-working requests is attempts to control the behavior of other people. For example, for someone to love you. As mentioned earlier, it is impossible to control emotions: neither your own nor those of others.

How to make a working request

We have dealt with psychological requests that will not help you solve the problem. Now let’s talk about the running query.

In order to formulate it, it is necessary to answer only two questions:

1. What’s wrong?
2. How do I want?

After you answer the basic questions, try to analyze deeper. How long ago did something go wrong in your life? Was there a turning point? How do I know that something is not going according to plan? By answering, you will receive your psychological request.

It can be quite difficult to identify the root of the problem on your own, especially when you are in limbo. Do not worry – a therapist can help with the request. In this case, you should describe the symptoms of the problem:

• What exactly is stopping you at this moment in your life?
• How does this affect areas of your life?
• What do you think this might be related to?

Together with a specialist, you will find the essence of what is happening, you will be able to work it out.

Self-help methods

One of the key questions that torments many people: how to understand that you generally need the help of a psychotherapist? And the only answer is to rely on your subjective opinion and feelings. This is where mental literacy comes in. If you understand the problem and have a plan of action to solve it, try to handle it yourself.

There are many ways to help yourself.

• For example, reading psychological literature. Try to choose high-quality books, the authors of which are practicing psychologists, and also published in scientific media resources.
• Another option is to take courses and trainings to improve psychological literacy. This method will help you acquire the tools to determine your condition, concretize symptoms, desires and goals, as well as useful practical exercises.
• It is impossible not to note the practice of mindfulness – a scientifically based approach, integrated, among other things, into psychotherapy. For some people, it is they who help in solving the problem, contributing to relaxation, focusing on their request and ways to implement it.

But if you feel that a month, two, half a year passes, and there are no improvements in your condition, then it’s time to contact a specialist.

Taking care of yourself

If, in addition to emotional discomfort, you experience physical discomfort, this is also a sign that you need outside help. People often complain about problems with appetite and sleep when they see a psychotherapist. By the way, all self-help methods can be combined with a course of psychotherapy, but it is important to inform the specialist.

Timely seeking qualified help is extremely important, because a long stay in an apathetic, anxious or any other atypical state can have unforeseen consequences.

Some people can live in an altered state for years, while others suffer so much that they cannot maintain their usual lifestyle. In both cases, a person’s life will definitely become better if he gets help and gets rid of the problem.

Psychotherapy is a voluntary act, and no one will force you. However, it is one of the surest ways to take care of yourself, get to know yourself and improve your quality of life.