We want our dreams to come true: to find love, to do our favorite and interesting work, but in reality, for various reasons, we settle for less and suffer from it. How to distinguish a real prize from a consolation one? Psychologist Linda Bloom offers an unusual exercise.
“A person needs love, not a Nobel Prize. How do you think people become Nobel laureates? Quite simply, they crave love. They crave it so much that they work with all their might, and eventually become Nobel laureates. But that’s just a consolation prize. Because in reality, only love matters,” says George Wald, an American biochemist and physiologist who received the Nobel Prize in 1967.
To figure out if I’m following a dream or agreeing to a “consolation prize,” I came up with a game: sometimes I mentally travel into the future to communicate with myself when I’m an old, wise woman. I have been playing it for many years. I imagine that I am 90, the body has lost its former flexibility and mobility, but the mind remains sharp. I have accumulated a certain wisdom because I have been attentive to life. And this old woman, I’m from the future, gives advice to me-today. I trust her and always listen to her opinion.
She often says, “Don’t settle for less! Get what you want. You know what your heart desires, strive for it with all your might. If you want love with this person, go for it, don’t be afraid! Enjoy what brings you joy: socializing with friends, work, dancing, traveling… always strive for more, but do not forget what is really important to you: this is what you should spend time and effort on. Do not be distracted from true passion, do not go down the wrong path, because it seems more simple or familiar.
What is most important to you in life, what do you strive for with all your heart? Are you living up to it?
This older version of me always speaks kindly to me, never judges or scolds. There is a twinkle in her eyes, and she helps me to treat events with humor that I, today, take too seriously.
I feel her love for me, the confidence that I will succeed. She is like a kind, generous grandmother, which I did not have and which I lacked. She loves me very much and supports all undertakings. I suggest that you use this visualization method to find mature wisdom within yourself. You can give yourself the advice you need.
It is important to remember that when doing this exercise, you need to be extremely honest. What is most important to you in life? What are you striving for with all your heart? Are you living up to it? If not, what steps can you take to change this?
Many people say that the main thing in their life is love, but at the same time they neglect those closest to them in pursuit of status, money, power, awards, career or titles, as if this could bring them happiness and a sense of life satisfaction.
By asking ourselves this question, we turn to the true essence and then we can understand whether we are agreeing to the very consolation prize or striving for what we really want.
About the Developer
Linda Blum, psychologist. Her .