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The past year has been one of the most volatile in recent history, and it’s no surprise that most of us find it hard to find something to celebrate and be grateful for. And yet they are.
Many of us find it difficult to accept even the very idea that being grateful is beneficial. Pandemic, quarantine, declining income and living standards, political instability in the world – gratitude these days seems completely out of place. But don’t give in to this feeling.
“For psychological well-being, it is important to be able, no matter what, to recognize and appreciate the positive aspects of life. Gratitude makes us happier and happier, increases resistance to physical and mental pain, reduces depression, and improves sleep. When we are grateful for life, we are able to truly appreciate the achievements of others, without comparing them with ourselves and without competing with them, which also affects self-esteem, ”says psychotherapist Farah Harris.
But where can one find reasons for gratitude in life when everything around seems so gloomy? Here’s what the experts have to say about it.
Try to figure out what suits you
Practicing gratitude is individual: you need to choose the one that is right for you.
“Many people think that gratitude should be shown openly – constantly thanking others for any reason. But it’s better to start with yourself, allowing yourself to take your time and calmly reflect on all the good that surrounds you. You decide which practice is right for you, there is no place for coercion and stress, ”explains counseling psychologist Reyna Smith.
If you prefer mentally listing reasons to be grateful rather than writing them down in a journal, you can do so. Or maybe you are more comfortable making a “thank you list” in an app on your phone? Remember that any practice will be effective only if you do the exercises regularly.
Set aside a few minutes a day to practice gratitude
Try to find time every day to focus only on the positive. Imagine that at this very moment nothing bad can happen.
“Put your phone into silent mode. Create your own inviolable space in which you can plunge into a sense of gratitude. It is best to do this exercise in the morning, but if it doesn’t work out, you can also do it in the evening. Try to retire at this time in a quiet and peaceful place, asking you not to be disturbed. Start small and gradually expand the practice to suit your needs and preferences. Remember that this is your sacred and inviolable space!” – recommends psychologist and business coach Sharn Haira.
Express gratitude in a tangible way
To practice gratitude, we must consciously focus on the positive. This can be difficult to do, because we have to overcome our natural inclinations: our brain is designed in such a way that we pay more attention to negative events and experiences and remember them better. Psychologists call this the “negative effect.”
To combat the negative effect, it is useful to express gratitude in a tangible form. You can, for example, keep a gratitude journal, either in writing or as a vlog. You can write down the reasons for gratitude on scraps of paper and put them in a transparent vase so that it is always in your sight and reminds you of how much good is actually happening in your life. On a particularly difficult day, you can re-read your notes and realize that everything is not so bad.
Consider even the smallest reasons for joy
Of course, the most important thing in life is health, work, family. But even minor pleasant things deserve a mention in the gratitude list. If right now there are no major reasons for joy, it is worth focusing on the “little things”. You can be grateful just for a good haircut, a great dinner, a hot shower in the morning.
“If you feel joy and gratitude for any reason, you should not consider how significant it is. Your emotions alone prove that he matters to you. Do not be shy about positive experiences, express them boldly, openly and proudly, ”advises Reyna Smith.
Do not forget about your personal qualities that you value. If in life now, like many, there is a black streak, remember your main virtues that help you endure difficulties.
Thank others more often
“Feel free to thank others for their generosity and kindness with even a brief note. Better yet, write a note like this to a close friend, relative, or owner of your favorite little corner shop—and just like that, for no reason at all,” Reyna Smith advises.
Our gratitude helps maintain strong relationships with others, which is especially important in difficult times. By the way, you can address such notes to yourself.
Thank your own body
“As an exercise, try to feel love for yourself without any judgment. Take a few deep cleansing breaths and try to feel your body from head to toe. You can list different parts of the body and express your gratitude to them, for example: “Thank you for the hands that help me lull my baby,” suggests Sarah Harris.
“Whatever form you take to practice gratitude, the key is to do it regularly and consistently. Be patient, pay attention to spontaneously arising thoughts, and if the flow of thoughts becomes too negative, try to redirect it in a positive direction by remembering a few reasons for gratitude. With regular practice, you will soon notice changes for the better – both in mood, and in thinking, and in behavior, ”Sharn Haira sums up.