How to find a non-professional psychotherapist?

In family therapy

“As a rule, parents and children come together to our sessions, sometimes grandparents. And there is always a risk that the therapist will give preference to one of the family members, his point of view, his position, considering him, for example, the victim of the rest of the group. In fact, everyone in the family is interconnected and everyone is not only influenced by others, but also provokes their reactions. Therefore, it is unacceptable for the therapist to take the side of one of the family members, guided by ideas of seeming justice (for example, protecting children from their «authoritarian» parents or supporting one of the spouses against the other). By doing this, he will only cause harm, exacerbating the positions of family members. A romantic lifeguard as a family therapist is worse than a crook.»Alexander Chernikov, systemic family psychotherapist, member of the International Family Therapy Association (IFTA).

• Systemic family therapy — what is it?

In child psychotherapy

“They turn to us in order to help the child. But his difficulties, his experiences are often associated with the style of behavior of parents, their attitudes towards education. However, the therapist should by no means blame them for this. Otherwise, they will take the son or daughter out of the office, and the child cannot be helped. The goal of therapy is to pinpoint the exact cause of his difficulties and find a way to deal with them. And at the same time help parents realize the power of their influence on the feelings of their child.Anna Skavitina, child analyst, member of the International Association for Analytical Psychotherapy (IAAP).

• Sex therapy

In sexuality therapy

“The reason for the difficulty in the sexual sphere often lies in the difficult relationship between partners. Knowing this, it is completely unacceptable to give «advice» like «Get a divorce!» or «You need a sexual experience on the side» … When you hear this, stop therapy immediately. No specialist has the right to push the patient to make a decision, thus imposing his values ​​on him. Only the person himself can determine what is useful for him and how he should act.Lev Shcheglov, sexologist and psychotherapist.

In psychoanalysis

To have feelings for one’s analyst, to unconsciously involve him in habitual relationships—such transference is a natural part of the process of psychoanalysis. Example: if the patient is prone to seduction, sooner or later this will manifest itself in the relationship with the analyst. And he may succumb to and even emotionally respond to this transference (most often unconsciously) instead of making it an object of analytic investigation. Such a reaction is caused by the personal characteristics of the patient. However, the real problems arise when the psychotherapist’s personal “weaknesses” are imperceptibly connected to this, for example, his unconscious desire to seduce, to please. If these «weaknesses» are imperceptibly woven into the fabric of the analytic relationship, and seduction on the part of the patient is supplemented or provoked by seduction on the part of the analyst, such transference manipulation is likely to lead to interruption of therapy.Igor Kadyrov, psychoanalyst, member of the International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA).

In behavioral psychotherapy

“We invite the patient to try new ways of behaving and communicating, looking for those that are better suited to his needs. To do this, we recommend exercises and role-plays. The therapist must understand very well what task is best for the patient at this stage of therapy, what he is already ready for, and what he cannot do yet. If you get the impression that the therapist is not involved in the process and is content with memorized schemas, think about it. It may not be bad therapy, but it’s certainly not behavioral or cognitive therapy.»Christophe André, French psychiatrist and psychotherapist at St. Anne in Paris. His book (co-authored with Francois Lelore) “How to deal with difficult people” (Generation, 2007) has been translated into Russian.