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Explain to them the divorce
Even if divorce is above all a story of adults, children find themselves, despite themselves, concerned. Some are faced with a fait accompli, all the more worried they do not understand. Others do not escape arguments and follow the evolution of the separation in a climate of tension …
The situation is difficult for everyone but, in all this hubbub, children need to love their dad as much as their mom, and for that to be spared as much as possible from marital conflicts or being taken to task …
Each year in France, nearly 110 couples divorce, including 70 with minor children…
Action, reactions …
Every child reacts to divorce in their own way – consciously or unconsciously – to express their concern and be heard. Some withdraw into themselves, never asking questions for fear of hurting their parents. They keep their anxieties and fears to themselves. Others, on the contrary, externalize their discomfort through restless, angry behavior … or want to play the “vigilante” to protect the one they think is the most weakened … They are only children and, yet, they understand perfectly well. situation. And they suffer from it! Obviously, they do not want their parents to divorce.
It works a lot in their heads …
“Why Mom and Dad are separating?” Is THE question (but far from being the only one…) that haunts children’s minds! While it’s not always easy to tell, it’s good to explain to them that love stories are often complicated and things don’t always turn out the way you planned. The love of a couple can fade, Dad or Mum can fall in love with another person… adults too have their stories and their little secrets.
It is important to prepare children (even if they are small) for this separation and to talk to them about any changes that may occur. But always gently, and with simple words so that they understand the situation. Their fears won’t always be easy to allay, but they need to understand one thing: that they are not responsible for what happens.
When things go wrong at school …
His notebook testifies to this, your child is no longer able to attend school and his ardor at work is no longer there. However, there is no need to be too harsh. Give him time to “digest” the event. He may also feel isolated from his peers to whom he finds it difficult to talk about it. Try to comfort him by telling him that he shouldn’t be ashamed of this situation. And that perhaps, after having told his friends about it, he will feel relieved …
Change of school …
After a divorce, your child may have to change school. This means: no more the same friends, no more the same mistress, no more the same references …
Reassure him by telling him that he can always stay in touch with his friends, that they can write to each other, make phone calls, and even invite each other during the holidays!
Getting into a new school and making new friends is not easy. But, by sharing activities or the same centers of interest, children generally sympathize without too much difficulty …