Contents
How to end a relationship with gratitude
Psychology
The way in which we communicate to our partner that we no longer want to continue the relationship and what we say to them can help cushion the pain suffered by that sentimental loss and make it more bearable
The following sentence circulates on the internet: «Where everything has already been tried, it only remains to say thank you», and it would summarize what you are going to read next. Because not all breakups end due to routine and boredom, infidelity or third parties, but sometimes, many times, as Rocío Jurado’s song says, “love broke from using it so much”; love ends and there is no more explanation.
When a relationship ends, the level of suffering that you feel depends in large part on four factors: how long the relationship lasted, who made the decision to leave it, what was the reason for the breakup and how that relationship was ended. Of course, the way to communicate the decision is essential to know the future of the deal … «The way in which we communicate to our partner that we no longer want to continue the relationship and what we say can help to cushion the pain suffered by that loss sentimental and make it more bearable», Says Lidia Alvarado, an expert psychologist in couple relationships.
It does not only matter what we say at that moment, but also how we do it, and that is why it is absolutely advisable to end a relationship with gratitude and not with resentment or anger. resentment, although sometimes it is complicated: «Many people will think that this is impossible when the reasons why it breaks have to do with behaviors of the other, such as infidelity, indifference or bad character, among many others, and probably due to pride you’ll be dying to tell him everything he’s done wrong before you leave. But when a relationship ends you must ask yourself, why do I want to get the dirty rags? What am I going to gain from it? », Advises the psychologist.
Therefore, it is recommended to have a last conversation with the one who was our partner and that everything that is said is from gratitude and not from resentment. The objective should not be to hurt the other taking advantage of that moment to make a long list of claims or complain about past mistakes, but instead you have to focus the conversation on yourself, speaking in the first person about the reasons why you made that decision.
Say “goodbye” out of gratitude
End a relationship from gratitude It has benefits both to make the breakup more bearable and to recover sooner, and couples who have finished in a good way corroborate this. Now, how do you do this to end a relationship from gratitude?
As Lidia Alvarado explains, in order to achieve this it is essential that you forget the need to “stand above” the other and that pride disappear. «You must focus on the good memories because, even if things went wrong afterwards, was the person you chose at one point in your life as your partner, and if you focus on them you will feel positive emotions that will help you break with that relationship from gratitude and not from resentment ».
Also, try to turn all the good you experienced in the relationship into gratitude to minimize the “bad drink” of the breakup, and this is much simpler than it seems: “You just have to thank that person for all the good times you have shared and for all that it has taught you. Surely, if you think about it, you will be able to write a long list with everything good that this relationship gave you, both in learning and experiences, ”says the expert in love relationships.
Learning to separate the result of the relationship from the love you felt for your partner is also a key point because even if it has been you who has made the decision to break up for different reasons, and one of them is that you no longer feel the same, «no You must forget that at some point in the past you did feel love towards that person.
Therefore, face the situation with good manners and words, highlight the good that you have experienced and try, as far as possible, not to “throw things in your face” because that will only complicate the dialogue and a good common treatment in a future.