Applying the same approach to babies means raising them without taking into account important psychological characteristics.
March 8 2019
What works for girls sometimes doesn’t affect boys at all, and vice versa. It is important to take into account the gender of the baby both when raising and teaching. How and why, our expert, Ph.D., child psychologist, author of the bestselling book for parents “Think like a child, act like an adult” will tell Olga Makhovskaya.
Boys
More restless from birth. They are several times more likely to have attention deficit disorder, neurological diseases, pathologies and genetic abnormalities.
Later they begin to walk and talk. Coordination, fine motor skills are formed with a lag. For example, the brush develops more slowly, this is noticeable when children paint. They catch up with girls at about 12 years old. One of the factors is the introduction of core subjects at school. Having become interested, they can do it all day long. Boys are better at narrow specialties.
The game strives to occupy all the free space. If there is a wall bars, they will definitely climb, if there is a basement, they will go down. In the role-playing game, both female and male roles are ready to play. They experiment, so parents shouldn’t be intimidated when a child plays with dolls or puts on their sister’s clothes.
Fact: Boys tend to have more aggressive moms, girls tend to have softer dads.
Girls
They are from birth more attentive to the taste of food, more sensitive to sounds, smells and touch. Physical discomfort can be very annoying. Birth is less likely to be associated with complications.
They are ahead of boys from the first weeks of life; by the age of nine, the gap can be one and a half to two years. They are more inclined to systematic daily learning, which corresponds to school requirements, therefore, their grades, as a rule, are higher. They get involved in the process faster, but by the end of the lesson they start to get tired, their attention weakens.
As for games, a small corner is enough for them where they can lay out toys. They are the ones who assign roles in the games, think over the details, even if there are boys in the company. Girls are guided by the expectations of others, so they prefer the main or at least female characters, the role of the Wolf from “Little Red Riding Hood” will not work.
For boys
Boys should be praised for concrete results and actions. “Well done!” they will not be satisfied, unlike the words “you did a good job”. Abstract compliments “you are cool”, “you are so beautiful!” they are annoyed and alarmed.
Boys communicate with each other and with others using verbs. Do you want to ask for something? State the task in a short and clear way, otherwise they will stop listening to you. It is not necessary to explain that you have a headache, you are tired, so your son should help with cleaning. Suffice it to say, “Take out the trash.”
Are you unhappy? Tell us what exactly. The son must know where he made a mistake in order to correct it.
Girls
It is important for girls what impression they make, the score “you amazed me!” will please more than a reference to the result.
Girls should be spoken to in the language of emotions using adjectives. Do not forget to demonstrate to your daughter by personal example what is required of her.
You can talk to your girl about your feelings if you are upset. However, don’t blame her in any way, just explain what the problem is. Remember, children of either gender quickly develop feelings of guilt and an inferiority complex.
Forget the phrases “you are a real man, so you have to …”, “you are a girl, so you have to …”. Stereotypes prevent children from being happy. In relation to boys, most attitudes are aimed at suppressing emotionality. If you convince a child that men do not cry, he will forbid himself to show feelings already in elementary school. He will not learn to recognize emotions, and it will be more difficult for him to adapt to life. Daughters are taught that they need to be a beautiful, tidy, good housewife. Having matured, the girl will find fault with the man that he does not look like that, does not follow the house, and try to remake it. This will ruin the relationship.
Never compare children, no matter what gender they are. There are only two exceptions. A girl may like it if she is compared to a movie star. Boys are flattered by the juxtaposition of geniuses.
Teach children to interact with the opposite sex. Already in kindergarten, you should teach your son to compliment girls: he himself will never understand why this is needed. Tell your daughters about how reliable, skillful boys are. It’s better if dad does it. Women are judged by their appearance, while a man can talk about such qualities as decency, solidarity, professionalism.