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We make plans to trick time into slowing it down, but maybe we should slow down ourselves instead? Philosopher and writer Christine Kayol, who lived for 10 years in China, formulated 7 rules that will help you stop fussing and teach you to act measuredly.
1. Come to the meeting early
“To appear 10 minutes early in China means to show respect for the other side, to show that you have time for it,” explains Christine Kayol. This polite gesture is for you too. You can exhale, prepare for the conversation, mentally repeat important points.
It’s better than running into the conference room in a hurry, throwing off your coat as you go. Of course, in Western culture it is customary to respect people who are always busy without a second of free time. Constant haste has become an illusion of the fullness of life. But Chinese wisdom sees free time as an advantage, not a weakness.
“In the West, a person with power makes himself wait; in China, he waits, demonstrating that he skillfully manages his time and can afford not to run anywhere,” says Christine Cayol.
Therefore, try to come to a meeting 5-10 minutes earlier (especially if it is important), without fear of impressing a person as passive and idle. You will notice that this mindset helps you negotiate more successfully.
2. Keep in touch with nature
In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it is important to take a break to communicate with nature: sit for a couple of minutes on a bench in the park, take a picture of a beautiful leaf, admire the clouds. If you can’t go outside now, you can sit on the balcony or even just stand by the open window. Understand that there are wonderful things in the world that exist regardless of your deadlines and time pressure.
3. Do gymnastics in the morning and evening
“Many Chinese people do several exercises right after waking up and before going to bed,” notes Christine Kayol. In the morning, it can be 3-4 asanas or Sun Salutation from yoga. In the evening – relaxing gymnastics or a 20-minute walk after dinner. This activity helps to become more balanced.
4. Don’t focus on reaching your goal.
People in the West are too concerned with profit. We tend to do everything for a purpose. For example, most people do yoga or tai chi to either lose weight, relieve stress, or clear their minds. We hope to release tension while continuing to compete with ourselves.
First of all, you need to get rid of the very idea of uXNUMXbuXNUMXbthe indispensable achievement of the goal. When the Chinese do tai chi, they know it’s good for their health, but they don’t think about it all the time. They focus on movement. Therefore, when you go for a run, do not calculate the calories burned, enjoy the process itself.
5. Improvise without stress
The Chinese do not dramatize surprises. They quickly adapt to any situation, trusting the collective mind.
“One evening I invited two people to dinner. But when I opened the doors, I saw six people,” says Christine Kayol. “I could panic in the Western way that I didn’t have enough food. But I tried to respond in Chinese. Together we cooked a couple of extra dishes from what happened in the fridge and had a wonderful evening.”
So take surprises as good luck, not as a threat.
6. Leave free time in your schedule
“The Chinese do not strive to fill every second with business. Most deliberately leave unoccupied half an hour in the middle of the day, ”the philosopher notes. For what? There will be something useful. And if not, you can relax or meditate, make a couple of personal calls, be alone with your thoughts for a few minutes. This technique allows you to feel like the master of your time.
7. Plan roughly
“Do you want to make the Chinese laugh? Make an appointment for 10 a.m. in three months, ”says Christine Cayol. Chinese wisdom teaches you to be flexible in your schedule. No one makes clear plans for years to come.
In the West, we treat time with anxiety. We fix everything in advance, set deadlines, put it in the diary. Of course, sometimes this is necessary. But don’t stress yourself out. The deadline sets a benchmark to strive for, but which should not unnerve you.
Antistress in Chinese
Do you feel stressed, tired or low on energy? Pause and do three traditional relaxation exercises
1. Breathing exercises
This is your main ally in the fight against stress. Even a simple five-minute deepening of the breath gives a charge of vivacity. Lengthening the exhalation will help to cope with anxiety. If you normally exhale for 5-6 seconds, try stretching out a few exhalations to 7, then 8, and so on, until you have a long but still comfortable exhalation. And to overcome fatigue, try to lengthen, on the contrary, breaths.
2. Palm massage
Place your left hand palm up on your left knee. With the index finger of your right hand, press on the center of the palm, and then slowly draw a spiral. Repeat with the second hand.
3. Stretching and twisting
Stand straight with feet hip-width apart, weight evenly distributed on both feet, knees relaxed. Reach your hands behind your hips with your palms back. Gently begin to take them up, while stretching the top of your head to the ceiling. Do not lift your heels off the floor. Hold the stretched position for 10-15 seconds.
Breathe normally. Return to starting position and twist. Exhale. Lower your chin to your chest and begin to slowly bend over. Let the head gradually sink down under its own weight. Hands hang freely.
The stomach should be placed on the hips. Only then will the neck and back relax. To do this, you can bend your knees. Then slowly return to the starting position, spinning vertebra by vertebra.
About the Author: Christine Cayol is a philosopher and writer. She has lived in China for over 10 years. Author of Why Do Chinese People Have Time?